eastenders comedy

[the_watts_rule]

Well Done. That made me laugh . More soon please.

[Jada-GDR]

this stuff actually makes me laugh, like, physically, and not much manages to make me do that! You go girl!!!

[crazy_purple]

merci

Tuesday

Phil and Grant arrive at Johnny's house. He isn't best pleased to see two walking, talking potatoes turn up and knock on his front door. Well, would you be? Mr and Mrs Potato Head get separated, or something, and it ends up that Phil is cornered by Johnny and also Danny. Johnny has a pink jumper. I'm sure he's gay.

But in the nick of time, Grant reappears, I start drooling, and they leg it. Yay. Johnny also runs away, to wallow in his Bottles O' Booze. But Ruby has found them and is maaaad. I wish she'd shut up. She doesn't care that two potatoes are roaming the house, and instead starts smashing his precious vodka. Johnny is all "Bothered?" right up until the last bottle, which he cradles like a dying cat. Ruby = "Pfeh."

Now Phil is in Johnny's office (?) I did watch these episodes, I'm just checking it on the BBC website because I can't even remember what day it is. Johnny asks Phil what he wants - is he here to kill him, torture him, spay him or what? No. Phil wants a signed confession of Johnny's guilt, which conveniently will remove any blame from Phil. The nincompoop.

Elsewhere, Grant is confused by the organic goat's milk he finds in the fridge. Organic? Goat? He and Ruby have a nice chat, while Phil is strangling Johnny in the next room, all "Why - won't - you - die!" Ah, the fun.

[di marco]

lol that was so funny, brilliant!

[crazy_purple]

Thursday

Apparently, Ruby told Grant all about her secret shame with Juley being paid to sleep with her by Phil. Because that's what you do when a complete stranger breaks into your house and holds you hostage. Yes. Grant can't believe his brother would do such a thing - oh, come on - and starts strangling Johnny. That guy is really having a bad day, isn't he?

Phil is so desperate to kill Johnny that he threatens to shoot his brother. You can't make this stuff up.

Anyway, there's then a huge, rather silly car chase - "Catch that pigeon!" - you know... Dastardly and Muttley... man, I feel all old. Johnny phones the potatoes while he's driving, naughty naughty. He babbles on about something and ends with "...Peggy's fingers are next! Mwahahahahaaa!" Meanwhile, Danny drugs Ruby up and plays with his gun. ...Ahem.

They end up in some factory yard. Johnny taunts Phil to come and fight him. He seems to have gone all crazee and Phil and Grant are sat there like "WTF?" But it's all a trick - I tell thee again, never trust a man in a pink shirt - and Johnny escapes with his crazee intact.

Jake, in the Vic, somehow realises that Danny is in danger and knows exactly where he is. Man, I wish I could do that. He goes to Johnny's house where he finds his little creepy brother in bed with Ruby. Boo! Hiss!

There is a lovely picture of Grant on the BBC website. (I'm ashamed. But I'm also dribbling.) Phil tries to run him over and gets crushed by two skips... and survives. I'm confused. Is he secretly Superman?

Jake can't get Danny to go home with him. Instead Danny and Johnny go kidnap the potato heads. I wish they'd all make their minds up who's kidnapping who, who's strangling who, etc....

[Kim]

can't wait to see your version of friday's. Fab stuff

[Layne]

Ohhh just caught up this stuff is fab well done x

[feelingyellow]

Lmfao fabolous! I found the pink shirt a bit disturbing too! More more more!

[crazy_purple]

Friday

I've left it so long (well, 3 days) that I can't remember what happened. I think it's the revision's fault. Remembering stuff about left ventricles etc has pushed all EastEnders out of my brain. Damn. Anyway...

It turns out that Ruby gets Johnny to confess to everything he's ever done in 40 years (how old is he?), including crimes against fashion, simply by the POWER OF HER MIND. That is one scary kid.

Danny is going to shoot Grant and make Phil watch (nooooo! Kill Phil instead! Pleeease!) so Phil ....screws up his eyes and rolls his head around like it's on a stick. Yes. Grant does this ace final-moment deathface which is all full of woe. And I cry. There's a shot, and Phil stops looking like a constipated orangutan - only to find Grant still alive. Yay! You hear the cogs turn in both their brains - "Someone shot somebody... but we're both alive... huh?" and they turn around, slowly, to find Danny dearly departed. And Jake is stood there like "oops". And... scene.

Jake convinces Ruby to get in the car with him, and tells her Danny won't be around any more. Awww. He made a brilliantly camp villain. There is a - quite moving, actually - shot of some daffodils. And then the camera moves to show a spade stuck out of the ground. Very subtle, I'm sure.

The episode ends with Phil waving his stubby fingers at Ben, who waves back. Awww.

[Layne]

Fab very funny, loved it more soon x