Corrie Spoilers 22nd - 26th January 2018

[ellie2]

Let's hope they can find someone who doesn't live in lala land who can actually put a script together that is realistic and makes sense.

[parkerman]

Here's mine. Do you think I'll get the job?

The year is 2025. The camera pans down Coronation Street to see that there are many For Sale boards outside the houses. In the middle of the street, Ken and Rita meet by chance. Rita says, "Oh hello, Ken. Good to see a familiar face for a change."

"I know what you mean, Rita," Ken replies, "So many people gone. Apart from you and me, there's only that nice Pat Phelan and Eileen left from the old days. Of course, a few newcomers have moved in, but they don't seem to last long. I've never known so many murders as we've had in the last few years. Even in the time of Richard Hillman we saw nothing like this."

"Yes," nods Rita in agreement, "and yet somehow the police can't seem to get to the bottom of it. It's all very mysterious. People won't move in out of fear."

Ken looks around. "Do you remember, Rita, when this was a thriving little community? Now the Rover's Return is closed. We have no corner shop or newsagent. Roy's Rolls closed up and even the kebab shop gone. No-one to work there and no customers. It's all very sad."

Suddenly Pat Phelan comes out of his front door brandishing a gun, which he points at Rita and shoots her dead. He then goes back indoors where Eileen makes him a nice cup of tea. Ken immediately phones the police and tells them what's happened. After a couple of hours a police car turns up and two policemen get out. Ken shows them Rita's body.

"Well well, yet another murder in Coronation Street," says the first policeman, "it's all very mysterious."

"No it isn't," says Ken, "I saw exactly what happened."

"Oh right," says the other policeman. "In that case, we'll be round to ask for a statement in due course."

When the police still hadn't been round in two weeks, Ken rings the station to ask when they are coming to take his statement. The voice at the other end says, "Oh, sorry, we won't be sending anyone round. We've decided there's no point. We've put the murder down to just one of those things. We won't be investigating any further. You look after yourself Mr Barlow."

Just as he puts the phone down, Pat Phelan bursts into his house and shoots him dead."

Back home, Eileen makes him another cup of tea and says, "So it's just you and me now, Pat. I'm so lucky to have you. I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

Pat shoots her and Coronation Street finally comes to an end.

[swmc66]

They should definately appoint you! Glad Eileen gets shot in the end!

[ellie2]

You missed the last bit Parkerman.

"Pat has to make his own cup of tea, he gets bored and shoots himself."

[alan45]

He is going to kill again. I wonder who will be next.

Himself with any luck!!!!!!

[parkerman]

Himself with any luck!!!!!!

Or Kate Oates - even better.