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Thread: Funny news stories

  1. #1
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    Funny news stories

    I thought I'd start a thread to post funny news stories (I searched but couldn't find a previous thread).

    Mystery over sex toys dangled from power lines in Portland, Oregon

    Hundreds of sex toys have been spotted hanging from power lines across Portland, Oregon.

    The white and orange objects have appeared above major commercial streets around the city, but their origin remains a mystery.

    Locals have been sharing images online, to try and figure out who might be responsible.
    A spokesman for Portland General Electric said he did not believe the rubber products posed a fire hazard.



    Portland resident Lucila Cejas Epple said that she first encountered the sex toys at a neighbourhood street fair over the weekend, according to Reuters.

    \\"You could spot them in several intersections and you could see all sorts of reactions to them,\\" she said.

    \\"Some would blush, others would laugh, and most would take photos.\\"

    The first sightings were reported late last month - but more have appeared in recent days.




    How very bizarre!

    Love the eumphemisms the BBC uses (objects, products) and the tweet about explaining them to your kids.

    Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33541109
    Last edited by Dazzle; 17-07-2015 at 20:06.

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    'Drunk' squirrel causes hundreds of pounds of damage




    The squirrel managed to turn beer taps on and open bags of crisps (picture posed by model)


    A "drunk" squirrel has caused hundreds of pounds of damage at a private members' club.

    The secretary of Honeybourne Railway Club said he originally thought someone had broken into the premises, near Evesham in Worcestershire.

    The floor was covered in beer and glasses and bottles smashed, Sam Boulter said.

    Mr Boulter, 62, said he then saw a squirrel "staggering around" after coming out from behind a box of crisps.

    He added: "There were bottles scattered around, money scattered around and he had obviously run across the bar's pumps and managed to turn on the Caffrey's tap.

    "He must have flung himself on the handle and drank some as he was staggering around all over the place and moving a bit slowly.

    "I've never seen a drunk squirrel before. He was sozzled and looked a bit worse for wear, shall we say."

    Mr Boulter, who estimated he lost about £300 in the incident, eventually caught the squirrel in a waste paper bin and released it out of the window.

    Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...ester-33541502


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    Quote Originally Posted by Dazzle View Post
    I thought I'd start a thread to post funny news stories (I searched but couldn't find another one).

    How very bizarre!

    Love the eumphemisms the BBC uses (objects, products) and the tweet about explaining them to your kids.

    Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33541109
    I see that this story is via the BBC.

    It is very funny but if they want a really
    BIG story they could arrange for packets of
    c*n*o*s to be festooned( but accessible)
    above Albert Square!!
    It would cut the storylines down a bit tho!

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    Dupl
    Last edited by maidmarian; 17-07-2015 at 04:24.

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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by Dazzle View Post
    [SIZE=\\"3\\"]'Drunk' squirrel causes hundreds of pounds of damage[/SIZE]




    [SIZE=\\"1\\"]The squirrel managed to turn beer taps on and open bags of crisps (picture posed by model)[/SIZE]


    A \\"drunk\\" squirrel has caused hundreds of pounds of damage at a private members' club.

    The secretary of Honeybourne Railway Club said he originally thought someone had broken into the premises, near Evesham in Worcestershire.

    The floor was covered in beer and glasses and bottles smashed, Sam Boulter said.

    Mr Boulter, 62, said he then saw a squirrel \\"staggering around\\" after coming out from behind a box of crisps.

    He added: \\"There were bottles scattered around, money scattered around and he had obviously run across the bar's pumps and managed to turn on the Caffrey's tap.

    \\"He must have flung himself on the handle and drank some as he was staggering around all over the place and moving a bit slowly.

    \\"I've never seen a drunk squirrel before. He was sozzled and looked a bit worse for wear, shall we say.\\"

    Mr Boulter, who estimated he lost about £300 in the incident, eventually caught the squirrel in a waste paper bin and released it out of the window.

    Taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-33541502

    I once left the back door of my flat open for a few
    mins - while I spoke to lady next door. Then
    locked up in a hurry and went to work!
    That was in Autumn. Over the winter apart from
    an odd strange noise in spare bedroom( which I
    put down to man upstairs exercise machine)- all
    was well.

    One morning in spring I awoke early to hear
    hopping about noises from kitchen. Went to
    investigate to find squirrel. As soon as it saw
    me- ran past me- down hall into spare bedroom.
    I ran after it and closed door quickly.

    After a bit of thought-phoned RSPCA. They said
    vermin/traps/ council but said they would come
    round and see if they could help.

    The officer shut himself in spare bedroom and
    after a while caught it in a box. He took it
    outside and released it. Then showed me the
    box where the squirrel had hibernated over
    winter. There was a plie of sawdust and some
    metal bits!.Had gnawed thru a pair of wooden
    candlesticks( once belonged to.great-aunt)
    which had been put in box at bottom of wardrobe

    He said I had been lucky it was so contained-
    as squirrels can do a lot of damage!! I gave
    donation as thankyou!
    When I phoned my manager to say I would
    be a bit late getting to work.- he said" squirrel
    in spare bedroom" was best excuse he been
    given for years.

    The area where I lived at they time had lot
    if trees - so lots of grey squirrels- but hadn't
    had one get into someones home before.!!
    Last edited by maidmarian; 17-07-2015 at 05:26.

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    Quote Originally Posted by maidmarian View Post
    I see that this story is via the BBC.

    It is very funny but if they want a really
    BIG story they could arrange for packets of
    c*n*o*s to be festooned( but accessible)
    above Albert Square!!
    It would cut the storylines down a bit tho!
    I love it!! Imagine the outrage in certain tabloids! You're so right - what would DTC do for stories without the option of accidental pregnancies?

    Quote Originally Posted by maidmarian View Post
    I once left the back door of my flat open for a few
    mins - while I spoke to lady next door. Then
    locked up in a hurry and went to work!
    That was in Autumn. Over the winter apart from
    an odd strange noise in spare bedroom( which I
    put down to man upstairs exercise machine)- all
    was well.

    ...

    The area where I lived at they time had lot
    if trees - so lots of grey squirrels- but hadn't
    had one get into someones home before.!!


    What an anecdote! I rave about the hedgehogs I feed in my garden but that's nothing compared to a squirrel houseguest for the winter (even if it was unknown to you at the time). Very funny!
    Last edited by Dazzle; 17-07-2015 at 17:18.

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    My favourite headline of all time was in our local paper a few years ago. It said, Cow Falls Over

    And the story was about a cow that had...er...fallen over.

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    Quote Originally Posted by parkerman View Post
    My favourite headline of all time was in our local paper a few years ago. It said, Cow Falls Over

    And the story was about a cow that had...er...fallen over.
    I'm all agog! How, why and when did this poor bovine take a tumble? Did she recover???

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dazzle View Post
    I'm all agog! How, why and when did this poor bovine take a tumble? Did she recover???
    This is the full story. Which, by the way, I'm surprised didn't make the national and international news....:

    "Cow Falls Over
    "A specialist rescue team was called after a cow fell over in a brook in Great Holland.
    "Essex Fire and Rescue's swift water crew set off from Leigh, 60 miles away, to help local firefighters free the animal from Holland Brook. Officers left after being advised the cow would make its own way out."

    What a scoop, eh, for our local reporters!?
    Last edited by parkerman; 17-07-2015 at 19:19.

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  17. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by parkerman View Post
    This is the full story. Which, by the way, I'm surprised didn't make the national and international news....:

    "Cow Falls Over
    "A specialist rescue team was called after a cow fell over in a brook in Great Holland.
    "Essex Fire and Rescue's swift water crew set off from Leigh, 60 miles away, to help local firefighters free the animal from Holland Brook. Officers left after being advised the cow would make its own way out."

    What a scoop, eh, for our local reporters!?
    Definitely a slow news day.

    (I hope the poor cow did make it out on her own... )

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