Eastenders Spoilers 23 June - 26 June

[Dazzle]

I know she comes from a different culture with different views and everything, and the way she had this girl wasn't the best, but still when I watched her this night when Masood showed her her photo and she said she felt nothing but shame etc, I couldn't help but think "You heartless *itch!". At least Dean seems to feel something for this girl, though I still don't believe he'd make the ideal father.

I don't see Shabnam as heartless at all, I see someone who was deeply traumatised by the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy and fear that her family/mosque would judge her. Before she left Albert Square she was a normal young woman and she's changed out of all recognition. To me that's evidence she went through something profoundly distressing.

We saw she cares about her daughter when she first confessed to Stacey. She feels deeply guilty for abandoning her which is why she became so much more devoutly religious. Also she gave her a name - something I don't think someone heartless would do.

(Shabnam's state of mind reinforces my long held theory that Dean raped Shabnam. If it's true it explains feeling dirty and ashamed, over and above her religion and fear of her parents' disapproval. I still haven't completely given up on this theory despite her denying it was rape. She could have repressed the memories because she couldn't cope with them.)

As for Dean making a better father, I have to strongly disagree!!! I believe Shabnam's good at heart and, if she ever makes peace with herself and gets the chance to be a mother to Roya, will make a decent job of it. I'd never say the same for Dean, who's only capable of caring for himself in my opinion.

[storyseeker1]

For starters; I did NOT say Dean would make a better father! I only said that at least he seemed to show more interest in his child than Shabnam does. But I still don't believe he would make an ideal dad!

I'm sure Shabs does care for her daughter in some way. I'm just saying that judging by the way she reacted in last night's ep, it didn't seem like she cared.

My mom had to give up my brother when he was a baby, for reasons similar to Shabs (she came from an old fashioned family with certain spiritual views, and having a baby unmarried was like a sin in her day), and she regretted it ever since and tried to find him. With Shabs, though, she doesn't seem bothered.

I'm sorry, but that's just how I see it. I'm sure it's just her way and that she has her reasons, but to me she just looks like an unfeeling woman who cares more about her reputation than her own flesh and blood. (That's just how I see her, but that doesn't mean that's how she really is. Chances are, future eps will reveal her in a different light)

I really don't think Dean raped Shabs, as he only became this dark and twisted after his first time in prison. Plus, Shabs doesn't act scared or anything around him, except for when she thinks he's close to finding out the truth, or worse telling the truth to other people. Real rape victims would be terrified of being so close to their attacker.

There's also been no mention of a rape story involving Dean with Shabs from the writers. And Shabs explained in various eps that the shame she feels comes from the way in which Jade was conceived (getting drunk and having it off in the toilets of a nightclub)...NOT very dignified. And from what I hear about cultures like muslims, who have very strict rules about certain behaviour etc, this would cause great embarrassment and shame for Shabs. (Just the drunk part would get her shunned, let alone sex before marriage with someone she hardly knew, and pregnancy.)

Of course I could be wrong, as the writers could always change the storyline yet again. So we'll just have to wait and see again.

[storyseeker1]

For starters; I did NOT say Dean would make a better father! I only said that at least he seemed to show more interest in his child than Shabnam does. But I still don't believe he would make an ideal dad!

I'm sure Shabs does care for her daughter in some way. I'm just saying that judging by the way she reacted in last night's ep, it didn't seem like she cared.

My mom had to give up my brother when he was a baby, for reasons similar to Shabs (she came from an old fashioned family with certain spiritual views, and having a baby unmarried was like a sin in her day), and she regretted it ever since and tried to find him. With Shabs, though, she doesn't seem bothered.

I'm sorry, but that's just how I see it. I'm sure it's just her way and that she has her reasons, but to me she just looks like an unfeeling woman who cares more about her reputation than her own flesh and blood. (That's just how I see her, but that doesn't mean that's how she really is. Chances are, future eps will reveal her in a different light)

I really don't think Dean raped Shabs, as he only became this dark and twisted after his first time in prison. Plus, Shabs doesn't act scared or anything around him, except for when she thinks he's close to finding out the truth, or worse telling the truth to other people. Real rape victims would be terrified of being so close to their attacker.

There's also been no mention of a rape story involving Dean with Shabs from the writers. And Shabs explained in various eps that the shame she feels comes from the way in which Jade was conceived (getting drunk and having it off in the toilets of a nightclub)...NOT very dignified. And from what I hear about cultures like muslims, who have very strict rules about certain behaviour etc, this would cause great embarrassment and shame for Shabs. (Just the drunk part would get her shunned, let alone sex before marriage with someone she hardly knew, and pregnancy.)

Of course I could be wrong, as the writers could always change the storyline yet again. So we'll just have to wait and see again.

[storyseeker1]

Why does this site keep double posting whatever reply I make on this thread???

[parkerman]

Why does this site keep double posting whatever reply I make on this thread???

Read the Double Posts topic under "Site discussion."

It seems to be a peculiarity of this site which apparently cannot be fixed.

If you "Go Advanced" before posting that prevents it.

[Perdita]

The "Go Advanced" option does not work when you "Reply With Quote" though

[storyseeker1]

Many thanks!

[tammyy2j]

I do think Shabham cares and thinks about her child everyday, she is really into her religion and now the wedding too to take her mind off Roya/Jade

Dean was getting on well with Lily so perhaps he could be a good dad to Roya/Jade but that wont change his past he is a rapist and losing Roya/Jade isn't a severe comeuppance outcome for him to me

[parkerman]

The "Go Advanced" option does not work when you "Reply With Quote" though

It does for me.

[Dazzle]

For starters; I did NOT say Dean would make a better father! I only said that at least he seemed to show more interest in his child than Shabnam does. But I still don't believe he would make an ideal dad!

Yeah sorry, I paraphrased you incorrectly there.

I'm sure Shabs does care for her daughter in some way. I'm just saying that judging by the way she reacted in last night's ep, it didn't seem like she cared.

To me Shabnam's overreactions to mentions of Roya show she's overwhelmed with feelings not devoid of them.

Harking back to our debate about Dean's mental state, in my opinion Shabnam's current behaviour is a good example of being in denial. She finds the whole situation so painful that she can't bear to think about it. I've certainly been there!

My mom had to give up my brother when he was a baby, for reasons similar to Shabs (she came from an old fashioned family with certain spiritual views, and having a baby unmarried was like a sin in her day), and she regretted it ever since and tried to find him.

Your mother's sad experience certainly gives you a different perspective on this storyline though. Can I ask if she ever found her lost child?

I really don't think Dean raped Shabs...

You're probably right that Dean didn't rape Shabnam. I've been holding out hope that it would tie into Dean's comeuppance if it became apparent he raped her, but I admit it's looking less and less likely to be the case. I can't quite douse the glimmer of hope I have though!

(Just to add: I've written this without seeing this evening's episode, so some things I've said in this post may no longer be relevant. )