Intimacy Problem

Thank you. It's a little complicated but I was with my partner for 8/9 years (known him for 11 years) and during that time we have not had full sexual intercourse because of his medical problems. We split up over this a couple of years ago because he was reluctant to sort this out (found it embarrassing). During the time apart we had a heart-to-heart and we talked about lots of things. He knew I couldn't live without a sex life - and that I wanted to start a family. He was much nicer when we were apart more like the man I fell in love with. We got back together, but just before we did - I spoke to him and said how was the treatment going - he said he is under the hospital and it will be sorted. I said good because I couldn't go through with us splitting up again, and it would split us up. He said it wouldn't happen and if it did - he would walk away.

The trouble is two years I am still in the same boat. He admitted last year that he lied about getting treatment and didn't go through with it. He knows I want children but just doesn't seem to care.

I cannot live without any intimacy and he only wants a cuddle etc on his terms.

The problem is all of this has left me an emotional wreck. I am now seriously depressed and really low. I know that I have given him enough chances, yet I still cannot find the strength to go through with it. Also he has added pressure by refusing to move out. It's like he wants his cake and eat it.

I just feel like there is no way out and I'm in a catch 22 situation. What would your advice be? I have set time limits and he still does nothing, or fobs me off by telling me he is sorting it.

I am at my wits end.




Hi,

I know you have invested a lot of time in this relationship but it seams you have given it everything you've got and got nothing back in return, In theory relationships should be on equal terms with a lot of give and take with both parties and its sounds as if yours is not on equal footing.

Have you visited the doctor? I know it’s not your physical problem but he may have some advise for you. Or can you offer to go with him??

If is difficult to be in a relationship without the physical side, including kisses and cuddles. By the sound of it he has problems with that as well as sex. Do you know the full cause of the physical problems?