Somewhere only we know, Part 1
I sit up on my hospital bed, gently pushing on the rails at either side so I can see the warm bundle that I am holding properly. I rest my back on the bed head and slowly look down. A rush of emotions comes through me as I see the tiny baby in my arms, its little legs slowly moving up and down as if to tell me something. I can't believe that after all that had happened I finally had the thing I wanted more than anything else. Well, the two people that I wanted really.
Dennis pulled his chair in closer, making a slight squeaking noise as he scrapped the floor. He put his warm hand on my arm and looked into my arms, a smile spreading all over his face. I smiled back, we didn't need to say anything, everything was said for us.
He kissed my cheek and then leant down and kissed our little girls head, stroking her dark hair at the same time. He sat back down and smiled again at me. "She looks just like you" He said, pointing at her and then at me. I frown. "She looks like you, not me" I replied, looking down for the millionth time at my precious baby.
"Well, either way, she's beautiful. Just like her mother." He leaned over and gave me a long kiss on the lips, running his hand gently down my arm, making sparks fly off in the pit of my stomach. No one had ever had that effect on me, but whenever he was near me it was like the most beautiful feeling ever imaginable, one which I thought I would never experience. I had all I had ever wanted and no one was going to take it away from me...
I wake up slowly, my senses taking longer to come out of their slumber for all the wine had drunk the previous night. I sit up and look for Dennis and my bay, yet all I see is a dark, dingy, dank bed-sit. Bottles of wine scattered across the floor and a empty packet of painkillers next to me. I hold my arms out, wanting Dennis to hold me, and to give me my baby, yet no one comes. It then dawns upon me that Denis isn't there, and there is no baby. It was all a dream. That was how it was going to stay. Dennis didn't want me, and I was never going to have the baby that I so desperately longed for. Even if I was with Dennis, I still wouldn't be able to give him that. Never.
Maybe it was a good thing that I wasn't with him. I didn't deserve him. I had left him when he needed me most and now he probably hated me. Maybe he is with someone who is making him truly happy and that can give him what he wants more than anything else. A family. Perhaps some time in the future he will be at the hospital, holding his baby, being made happier than he ever imagined. He deserved that, I shouldn't rob him of his dream, filling his life up with shallow emptiness.
Perhaps that's all I do to people. Contaminate people. I've done it to dad and mum. It was probably her fault that she became an alcoholic. If I hadn't been adopted by her and dad, then they would of been happy and she wouldn't have turned to the bottle. I ruin peoples lives.
I rummage in my bedside drawn frantically, leaning half out of my bed trying to find the box I needed. I locate it at the back of the dense drawer and fish it out. I open it hastily, pulling out the rows of tablets, popping the seals on each one and swallowing each one in turn with some vodka that I had also found in the drawer.
This way I was helping people, no-one would be contaminated by me now, they would be free of me forever…
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(there should be a shannis baby! lol). like the new script though, please post more soon 
hope theres more to come soon, i really enjoy reading it
