Holby City hunk Hari Dhillon has revealed how his drugs binge storyline has hit close to home after his cousins own battle with heroin.
The actor who plays romeo surgeon Michael Spence in the BBC1 drama gets his most hard-hitting plotline when his marriage break-up sends him into a spiral of drink and drug abuse this month.
But behind the scenes, the script has taken its toll on Hari, 41, after resurrecting the anguish his family suffered when his close cousin Chris went off the rails.
In a frank interview, the star also revealed how he gets squeamish in the operating scenes, his girlfriend thinks its hilarious that hes the shows stud, and why his next move could be Bollywood.
The American star was speaking as viewers are about to see Michael lose control after realising his marriage to Annalese is over. The doc starts boozing and taking cocaine and punches a colleague.
Michael is literally starting to unravel, says Hari. It was great to play but it also left me emotionally drained.
It brought up a lot of feelings to do with Chris. I was a teenager when Chris was in his 20s. He fell into heroin. I watched him disintegrate in front of my eyes while his family and us desperately tried to help.
Knowing he'd changed so much, that really left a mark on me. You see people at their very lowest that really sticks in your mind. And you know it's because of bad decisions.
That's the same reason Michael turns to drink and drugs.
Hari's cousin was one of the lucky ones who made it through rehab and is now clean. But that didn't stop the storyline hitting a nerve. Hari says: It was draining and I was pleased when I flicked through the script and saw it was finally over and I could go back to just philandering.
Hari's definitely done his share of love scenes since joining the show as dishy doc Michael three years ago.
But in real life the dad of one couldn't be more different.
Born in San Francisco, Hari had been acting in the States until his show The Loop was cancelled. His long-term partner Lara had just given birth to their daughter Arya, now three, and a Hollywood writers strike was in full swing.
Terrified about how he could provide for his family, he flew to film a short drama in London where he ran into the Holby casting director in the street. It was perfect timing, says Hari, who had appeared briefly in the show a few years earlier as Dr Sunil Gupta. So we gave up LA and moved to London. It was a big move but very exciting. The three years have gone past in a blur.
Since joining Holby, which is filmed in Elstree Studios near London, general surgeon Michael has bedded nurse Donna Jackson (Jaye Jacobs) and {registrar Jac Naylor (RosieMarcel), and flirted with consultant Connie (Amanda Mealing), all while being married to Annalese (Anna-Louise Plowman).
Hari's real partner Lara, an Irish yoga instructor, finds his stud status hilarious.
It makes her laugh, he smiles. Shes not the jealous type. She thinks it's funny I get fan mail. But shes become just like a fan herself.Ill go home from a day of filming and shell be like How could you do that to Jac? I have to remind her its not real.
The pair met when Hari was in Ireland for a friend's wedding. After returning to LA, Lara gave birth to their first born Arya. But life's been so busy, he hasn't got round to popping the question. Its on the to-do list, he laughs.
Hari had to leave behind relatives in the States but makes yearly visits,as well as to India where his family is originally from.
Headmits he sometimes misses LA. He says: When I wake up sometimes at4am, I miss California. But I do love Britain, even the weather.
Hari starred in several hit US shows after going to drama school in London, including the supernatural drama Charmed, Without a Trace and Medium. But his first job after graduating from the University of California had nothing to do with acting he was an AIDS educator at jails in California and Hawaii.
Hari says: It was one of those strange left turns life takes. It was the early 90s when Aids was heavily stigmatised and it was my job to talk to sufferers in detention centres and educate them about it.
It was a tough job, and I was young. It was harrowing and after a year I just burned out.
Now after three years in Holby, Hari reveals he still has one problem playing a surgeon he hates blood.
I could never have a real medical career, he laughs. I get really {squeamish in scenes with fake blood.There's been several times when I have to lie down or take a walk after a scene because my stomach is turning.
This might explain the next thing to do on his to-do list the less gruesome world of Bollywood. He says: Bollywood is definitely something I want to try. It looks like so much fun
In the meantime, Hari's too busy being a dad and has set his sights on Arya being a brain surgeon.
People say shes a little actress, but I'm not sure Ive seen any discernible talent yet, he laughs. Id rather she was a brain surgeon. It's a changing world for actors and its tough.
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