Denise Welch smoked coke on Corrie Set
TV star Denise Welch today reveals she snorted cocaine in between filming scenes on Coronation Street.
Denise, 51, who played Natalie Barnes, confesses sneaking off set to the toilets for a hit of the drug to ward off crippling depression.
She tells in a candid autobiography, serialised in the Mirror from today, of meeting her dealer at 3am on crime-ridden back streets and driving while high on coke.
She says: The risks I took were incredible. I was a total wreck.
Shaking and sweating, Denise Welch locked herself in the Coronation Street toilets, clutching a s50 wrap of cocaine.
Just a few feet away, on the set of the Rovers Return, her cast mates were filming Weatherfield stalwart Betty Drivers real life and on-screen 80th birthday celebrations.
As the pub landlady and one of the soaps most famous faces, Denises character Natalie Barnes should have been in the hub of the scenes.
But she had made an excuse to slip away and sneaked outside to score from a drug dealer. Now, bent over the toilet seat lid, she hastily chopped out a line of the class A drug with a credit card, pressed a rolled-up s10 note to one of her nostrils and snorted the lot.
It wasn't even lunchtime and she was prepared to risk everything for a hit.
Denise, shaking her head, says: It was my lowest moment. Id reached a point where I felt taking cocaine was the only way I could survive. I was suffering crippling depression and Id made myself believe coke was the only thing that could make me cope.
In fact I was locked in a vicious circle because the more I took, the worse the comedowns would be. I was sinking deeper and deeper.
During her four years on the Street nearly 20 million viewers tuned in to her 1998 wedding to Des Barnes she was regularly high on cocaine.
She often filmed crucial scenes without having slept and continued to snort lines throughout the working day. She even drove under the influence of drugs.
Now Denise, who has gone on to star in ITVs Loose Women and BBC drama Waterloo Road, is breaking her silence in her frank autobiography Pulling Myself Together, serialised exclusively in the Mirror from today.
The Geordie mother-of-two tells of her battles with alcohol and clinical {depression as well as her affair with a toyboy lover which almost ended her stormy 21-year marriage to Auf {Wiedersehen Pet actor Tim Healy.
But it is her confession that she snorted cocaine on the Corrie set which will shock many not least her former co-stars. Denise, 51, admits she first used cocaine in nightclubs in her 20s after being given the drug by a friend.
But she started to use it more regularly after the birth of eldest son Matthew in 1989. She had bouts of depression that left her feeling suicidal and found the highs helped escape her despair.
The day of Bettys birthday scenes came at a time when she was particularly despondent. Still wired from a heavy night of partying, Denise was so desperate for a fix she made an excuse to nip away from the set. Outside, she made a quick call to her dealer who arranged to meet her near Manchesters Granada studios.
She says: Id become the master of getting out of scenes in the Rovers. Id always be saying something like Dont you think Natalie would be in the toilet? Or in the Rovers living room?
It was ridiculous but this was a particularly awful day and I felt very low. When you suffer with depression it can just hit you like that at any time and I could feel myself slipping. I didnt have any drugs on me and I knew the only way I could possibly keep going and stay on an even keel was to get some more.
A dealer came to meet me in a side street. I knew I was taking my life in my hands. Not only by meeting a dealer who would have been known to the police but also because I could have lost my job. I could have been all over the papers.
Youre rarely more famous than when youre in Corrie. Demi Moore would have had a better chance of getting away with it than someone on Coronation Street.
Yet my need to get cocaine to get me through the day was greater than any of those risks. By the time Id got some more I was wired and sweating.
I knew that they would have needed me back on set soon so I took the wrap to the toilets, cut up a line with a credit card, pressed a finger against one nostril and inhaled through a rolled-up note.
Seconds later, I felt better. More lucid, more alert. I was convinced that it was the only way I could go from feeling flat and hopeless to getting through. I walked back on set, checking my nose for any traces and paranoid that someone would notice.
I would have been horrified if someone like Betty had known. We were very fond of each other and I would have died if shed known what was happening. In fact, nobody said anything.
The rest of the filming took place with Denise keeping herself topped up with line after line of cocaine. She drove home still high.
She says: That was another risk to not only my life but also my childrens lives because I could have easily killed myself leaving them without a mother. The more cocaine I did, the more I needed. Id grow terrified of the comedown which triggered my depression.
Another shameful day for Denise followed Darren Days 30th birthday {celebrations in July 1998. She went into work without having slept to film a scene with Michael le Vell, screen lover Kevin Webster.
She says: Id been taking cocaine through the night and anyone who has ever done it will know that coke and sleeping dont go together.
I had to be at work at 7am, by which time the terrors had set in. I was in a terrible, terrible state. I had this scene with Michael in the garage and it got to the point where I could hardly talk.
I was worried that Michael would know although he never said anything.
I had two nervous breakdowns during Coronation Street and spent weeks lying in bed having panic attacks because I couldnt face going to work.
I couldnt tell anyone what was happening because there is still a huge lack of understanding of depression. So I carried on as if nothing was wrong.
I could have pulled out but I had this work ethic which wouldnt let me. Denises habit became so deep-rooted, she was prepared to take incredible risks to feed her craving.
Several times she drove to meet her dealer in a back street in {Manchesters Moss Side, notorious for its drug-related gangland violence.
In 1999, at the height of Denises dependence, there were 41 shootings in the area. Denise says: Moss Side is not {somewhere you want to be when youre a vulnerable woman alone especially when youre a TV actress.
But the fear of the comedown was greater than the fear for my life. That was the extent of my problem.
Itd be 3am and Id be desperate. I realise now how lucky I was. Anything could have happened to me.
After paying s50 for a gram of cocaine, Denise would snort a line in the car before driving home. She says: On so many levels I put my life and my familys future at risk.
Tim was aware Id done drugs sometimes but hed no idea that I was doing drugs at work and surviving on drugs to try and keep my sanity. Hed have been horrified.
Denise managed to kick the habit when she became pregnant with second son Louis, who is now nine.
Apart from the odd hiccup, she has managed to stay away from the drug.
Three years ago her depression was diagnosed as being caused by a hormone imbalance. She was prescribed tablets that reduced the periods of depression.
She says: I still have blips of {depression but I know now it would be utterly destructive for me to go back down that road with cocaine again.
Denise is nervous about the public reaction to her book but hopes people will appreciate her honesty. She says: I could have put a glossy glow on it but there was no point doing it unless I was going to tell the truth
