Life After Coming Out

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  1. Bryan
    OK so I'm going back to uni next weekend, and I'm going to leave my coming out letter to my parents when I go.

    But the big problem is what do you after you've come out?

    I mean, how do I deal with the fall out I'll get from my family? How do I build bridges again and get them to adapt to my new way of life etc?

    I can't wait to come out, so I'm free to be who i want to be, but I'm worried about the affect its going to have on my relationship with my family.
  2. Meh
    I thought you'd sent the letter already?
  3. Bryan
    nope i planned to send it once my boyfriend came down to meet me, but he kept messing me about, i wanted his support incase it all went bad. but now hes out the picture i still want to send the letter, even though i wont have anyone there for me when the **** hits the fan.
  4. Abigail
    Do you know your parents and siblings views on homosexuality? Are they very liberal about same sex relationships or are they likely to be angry/disappointed/mad/upset?

    I really hope it goes ok and your parents accept your sexuality.
  5. Tori
    I'm pretty much in the same situation, but just wanted to wish you luck more than anything!
  6. Bryan
    thanks Tori!

    Abigail my parents are old school and very traditional. My dad is a complete and utter homophobic bigot and I dont expect to have much contact with me once i Tell him, but that doesnt bother me as I dislike him anyway. Not sure of my mothers reaction, and thats what worries me the most really! I dont have any brothers and sisters, I think it would help if I did as I'd have had someone to confide in, and some one to fight my battle with my parents. Plus being the only child I feel like I have to do my parents proud and such like, and I know that they wont be proud of me coming out.

    to be honest im not expecting good things from all of this, but I have to do whats right and come out and be myself. in a way im happy im finally doing this, but in another way im totally petrified.
  7. DaVeyWaVey
    Before you give them the letter, you must be entirely sure that you are feeling secure about who you are because when you tell your parents, you have to respect their initial reactions and feelings. When you tell your parents, they will be experiencing exactly the same feelings that you did when you first realised you could be gay. Did you deny it to yourself? Your parents will probably feel denial and you have to give them time to accept who you are, just like you gave yourself time to accept your sexuality.

    When you give them the letter, it's important that you wait for them to contact you. They'll need time to absorb what the letter is telling them and to deal with what you've put. You don't have to do anything after you've given them the letter because you are just being yourself and that's how it should be. They should eventually come round after time because a parents love for their child should be unconditional.

    I wish you the very best of luck. You are being very brave.
  8. Debs
    Hey bry just wanted to say good luck! Parents can surprise us, you never know they may have a feeling and if they dont they may surprise you and support you. and if they dont at first im sure they will in time.
    hope it all goes ok
  9. Dazzle
    Good luck, Bryan! I'm sure your mum will come around, even if she doesn't take it very well to begin with.
  10. Tannie
    Good luck Bryan. As Debs has said you may never know what you're parent's initial reactions are. hope it goes well. xxx
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