View Full Version : Bring back the sun (eastenders, danny, depression)
All I can do is selfishly and neurotically think about how alone I am. Sitting in my room, alone with CD’s, and magazines, and dirty plates, and rubbish, and dirty clothes, and scattered playing cards, and screwed up paper, and various pens. The mess just seems to symbolize my mind, and my life. It’s so full of mess, there’s no where to move, nowhere to escape. I can’t even be bothered to get out of bed. It feels like my body’s manacled to the bed anyway; I’m heavy and stiff and tired. I want to sink through the covers and mattress and disappear, I want the pillow to cover my face to stop the sounds and stop my breathing, I want to forget about where I am and who I am and what is wrong and what is right and how I feel.
I feel like there isn’t any point to any of this.
Life.
There’s no point because, I’m alone, I can’t keep anything or anyone for long; no job, no money, no friends. I won’t be anything special, and nothing special will ever happen. No, not special, not even normal. I can’t do normal. Normal feelings, normal life, and normal friends – I can’t do it. I can’t do anything right.
I’m supposed to be an adult, and I can’t handle it; it’s too scary. Responsibility, maturity, it’s all too much. Why must I be those things because of a number anyway? It was so much simpler when I was just a depressed child. I wasn’t expected to be much then, or do much, not as much as I’m supposed to do now.
And all these years, they’ve told me – things will get better, you’ll get over it, get on with life, you’ll appreciate life in future – empty promises like at the end of my ‘phase’ will be a happy beautiful life.
This ‘phase’ has been going on for over 10 years.
And everyone’s more or less given up. They’ve more or less stopped telling me those things. They’ve more or less lost hope for me too, and have more or less finally seen what I’ve been trying to tell them all, all this time.
This is how I am. I’m not going to change.
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
“Danny. Danny!” Jake stood in front of his brother and looked down at him, “you have to pick up your prescription today, alright?”
Danny looked up at him with the same sullen expression.
“Make sure you do it Danny, please, even if you only do one thing today – make sure it’s that you pick it up, just do this one thing for me alright? As well as for yourself”
Danny looked back down. “I can be fine without them for one day”-
“No, no you can’t” Jake said as he moved the magazines off the floor and onto the desk, in a neat pile, “you need to keep taking them, and I don’t want you to come off them and whine about side effects when you’re back on them again”
“They make me feel worse Jake”-
“It takes a while for them to kick in, we know that. And you will feel sick while you get used to them, but it gets better doesn’t it Danny?... God how can you make so much mess?”
Danny sighed and watched his brother tidy up around him, as he remained sat on the edge of the bed, feeling like a lead statue on it.
“Don’t give me that sigh Dan. I left money on the side in case you see anything you want to buy, and there’s also a pot noodle, so when you want it just add water right, make sure you eat it” Jake said, as if he didn’t leave Danny out something to prepare for himself for every lunch time.
“Do you have to work today?” Danny asked, frowning. He’d rather his brother just stayed here, rather than leave him alone with all these things to do, all this responsibility.
“You know I do. But I’ll try pop in later alright, I finish at 5 anyway. You know that if you have any problems, if you need me”-
“Call you on your mobile, I know” Danny rested his elbow on his raised knee and rested his face in his palm.
“Right. So promise me you’ll pick up your medication”
“But Jake”-
“No buts Danny, just say yes, you promise”
“…yes Jake” Danny muttered.
“I mean it Danny” Jake said looking at his brother sternly, “I’m leaving now. So, if there anything that”-
“Jake just go already” Danny groaned and looked up at his brother, “I’ll be fine… have a good day”
“…yeah, and you” Jake ruffled his brother’s hair in a friendly reassuring gesture, “See you later Danny, and don’t forget!” Jake called as he left the room.
Danny closed his eyes and lay down on the bed on his side.
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
“Danny, you didn’t get it did you?” Jake said annoyed at his brother, he didn’t even really have to ask, he just knew.
Danny shrugged and remained lying on his side on the bed, facing the wall where the window was covered by drawn curtains.
“Right then, I guess I’ll have to take care of it myself” Jake muttered, silently adding ‘as usual’ in his mind. He picked up the piece of paper needed from the desk, and then threw open the curtains.
“Just leave it, get them tomorrow” Danny groaned and put an arm over his eyes to block out the light.
“No, we’re getting them now” Jake grabbed Danny by the arm and pulled him up from the bed.
“Hey” Danny growled, annoyed at being forced from his spot.
“I’m not leaving you here on your own. You’re coming with”
“But Jake”-
“No arguments Danny” Jake pulled Danny towards the hallway and took his brother’s jacket off the hook. “Here” he said, holding up the jacket. He didn’t even wait for his brother to put it on himself; he was practically dressing him like a petulant child. “All I asked was that you pick up your prescription, and you couldn’t do that. You couldn’t even eat lunch – you know you’ve lost some weight already Danny”-
“Stop going on at me Jake!”
“Well if you did these things I wouldn’t have to would I?” Jake sighed as he opened the front door and led Danny out towards the car. “Get in” he instructed.
“Why do I have to come?”
“Because you do” Jake opened the car door, “in” he pointed inside.
Danny glared at him but clambered in anyway, tugging at the seatbelt with annoyance when his brother shut the door after him. There was no point in arguing with Jake when he was in this mood anyway.
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
Jake sighed as he got into the car and shut the door after him. “Here” he said, holding out the small paper bag to his brother, which had his medication in it.
Danny looked at the bag then at his brother’s face, then back at the bag before snatching it off him and holding it on his lap.
“Well, go on” Jake pressed. “Take one”
“I’ll do it at home”
“No, I want to see you take it now”
“What difference is there, whether I take it here instead of at home?”
“Danny I’m not in the mood alright, just do as you’re told”
“What and you think I am in the mood?” Danny frowned.
“You’re never in the mood, that’s why you need these” Jake said reaching over and taking the bag out of his brother’s hands. He undid the bag and took out the packet of pills.
“Jake, stop that”
Jake ignored his brother as he undid the packet and took out the foil wrapped sheet of pills. He popped one out and grabbed his brother’s hand, before pressing the small pill into his brother’s hand. “There. Now take it”
Danny glared at his brother.
“You take it, or I make you take it, it’s your choice”
Danny frowned at the small pill. Like this tiny object would make everything change – he highly doubted it. Slowly and bitterly he put the pill in his mouth and swallowed. “There, happy?” he snapped.
Jake was giving him one of those looks.
“What? You want to check inside my mouth or something? I’ve taken it!” Danny folded his arms and stared out of the window “can we go home now?” he whined.
Jake sighed as he started up the car.
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
Jake sat on the sofa, with his face in his hands, whilst his brother slept upstairs in his bedroom.
All he could think of was how ill and hopeless his brother had looked weeks ago, lying on the hospital bed with various wires around him, making him look so small and helpless. He’d asked his little brother why, why had he taken all those pills. And his brother replied simply; “Maybe I thought they’d make me really happy”
His brother hadn’t been the same. He just seemed too vacant and tired like he was today. Jake wasn’t sure he could handle this alone anymore. He was damn lucky to still have Danny – but what if something like that happened again? How would he tell people? What would their family say or do?
He rubbed his face with his hands and then leant back on the sofa, before coming to a decision.
Routine. Jake usually thinks routine means everything to me, and if it goes wrong, then everything falls apart; I fall apart.
The truth is I couldn’t care less. But it seems easier to humor him you could say – okay, humor myself - by keeping up the routine of breaking the routines. For a while it gives me something else to think about, maybe vent anger, or get some excitement, just something to break away from the boringness of ‘normality’.
So, I wasn’t expecting Jake to be spontaneous
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
Danny stared out of the window, admiring the grey sky, from which light rain was falling from, ignoring all the scenery and other cars that rushed past.
Jake glanced momentarily to the side at his brother, but remained focused on the road, and their destination.
The other day Jake had gone into Danny’s bedroom, where Danny seemed to have been spending all of his time lately, wanting nothing more than to lie in bed, with the curtains drawn, and be quiet.
“Danny?” Jake sat on the edge of his brother’s bed and put his hand on his shoulder, shaking him a little, “you awake?”
“Mm” Danny pulled down the quilt a bit to turn his head and stare up at his brother, with the same vacant expression as usual.
“We’re going to go away for a little while. A break will do us some good” Jake smiled.
“What?” Danny muttered, “Where? Why?” he pushed the covers down enough to sit up, and Jake moved to give him a bit more space. “What’s going on Jake?”
“What’s with all the questions Danny, you trust me right?”
“…Right”
“And I know what’s best for you”
“…” Danny looked around then at his brother, “of course”
“Well right now, a break is what we need. So, let’s pack our stuff, and get sorted, yes?” Jake said, aiming pleading eyes at Danny, “Danny?” he sighed.
“Well you’ve seemed to have planned it all already, so I can’t really argue with you can I?”
“Dan”-
“If it’s what you want, then fine. I’ll do as you say” Danny mumbled as he lay back down and rolled over.
“You don’t want to go away do you?”
“What does it matter what I think or feel anyway”-
“You know it matters”-
“We’ll go wherever you want to go alright; but right now I want to sleep!” Danny pulled the covers up over his head pointedly.
Jake sighed, “Right, we’ll pack later then”
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
“Where are we?”
“Walford” Jake replied as he parked the car.
Danny frowned as the name of the place rolled about his mind. “Walford?… Walford… isn’t that where cousin Alfie moved to?”
“Yes. We’re visiting Alfie” Jake replied and swallowed.
Danny blinked back, “Cousin Alfie?” he asked incredulously.
“The one and only” Jake sighed as they parked.
“… Why would he let us stay with him?” Danny asked suspiciously.
“Because, because he’s our cousin and we haven’t seen him for ages” Jake said, tapping his hands on the steering wheel.
“Yeah, and that’s because of what I did when we last saw him”-
“Things have changed though – you’ve changed” Jake cut his brother off.
“I haven’t”
“You have”
“I haven’t!”
“Danny I’m not wasting my time arguing over this, let’s go find him”
“Meet”
“What?” Jake asked frustrated.
“You don’t find someone who you’ve arranged to visit, you meet them” Danny stated matter of factly.
“Don’t get picky over my vocabulary Danny” Jake rolled his eyes, “grab your bag, and come with me”
“…so, it’s all fine with Alfie?”
“Yeah”
“….he actually agreed to this?”
“Danny!” Jake snapped.
“Okay” Danny mumbled and looked down at his hands, “sorry, I’ll stop going on”
Jake sighed and reached over, putting a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Nah, its alright. I’m sorry for snapping at you… come on” he opened the car door, “at least put on a smile when we meet him yeah?”
Danny forced a small smile and nodded.
“That’s better” Jake smiled back.
.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW bless him I just want to cuddle him poor ickle thing
Angeldelight
25-03-2005, 19:10
poor ickle thing
Please write some more on both of your scripts, we've been waiting ages and they are both fabulous
thankyou! sorry i haven't written in ages. well here's more my lovelies!!!!
Jake headed towards the Vic, with Danny following like a moping but loyal puppy. He held the door open for his brother and glanced around the thriving pub. “Sit there” he gestured towards a nearby empty booth.
Danny slid into it, resting his folded arms on the table as he glanced up at his brother.
“I don’t know if we’ll get to talk to him, with it being this busy… just wait there, I’ll find a way of letting him know we’re here” Jake explained, before going towards the bar.
Danny sighed and stared at the ash tray and various beer mats placed on the table, before he began to move them around.
Jake squeezed in past two people at the bar and leant over the surface to try and catch a glimpse behind it. No Alfie – but Mr. and Mrs. Middle-aged by the looks of it. “Excuse me, excuse me, oi!”
The man sighed and barely looked at him, “wait your turn or get lost, can’t you see we’re busy?” he sneered. So much for customer service, Jake thought.
“I’m looking for Alfie, Alfie Moon” Jake said.
“Well you won’t find him in here”
“But he lives here?” Jake said confused.
“Not since Christmas. He runs a stall on the market now, so go bother him there” the man behind the bar snapped.
“Thanks” Jake muttered sarcastically and turned away from the bar. Alfie had left this place? To run a market stall? How was he going to explain to Danny now about Alfie not working or living here; he said it was all sorted.
He made his way back to where he’d left Danny, and found his brother tearing a beer mat to pieces. “Danny, I’ve just got to uh, get something from that minute-mart we passed”
“Like what?”
“A newspaper” was the first thing Jake could think of.
“What? You hardly ever”-
“I’ll not be long. Stay here alright, then I’ll get the drinks in when I’m back” Jake said turning around.
“Did you speak to..Alfie?” Danny trailed off when he looked up and saw the door swing shut after his brother.
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
“Thankyou very much darling” Alfie waved off a customer and rubbed his hands together, as he shuddered from the cold. He would have thought he’d get used to it by now, but it still got to him.
He turned when he sensed another customer nearby, “Hello sir how can I – Jake” Alfie’s smile dropped as he stared in shock at his cousin.
“Don’t look too happy to see me” Jake smiled nervously, “long time no see”
“What”- Alfie grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him aside, “What are you doing here?”
“First time you’ve seen me in years and this is how you greet me?” Jake sighed. “So I can’t visit my cousin now? And what are you doing out here – last I heard you were running the Vic and now some old geezer is in your place, want to explain that to me? And why you didn’t let me know somehow?”
“That’s a long story, and none of your business anyway. Let’s just say lots happened in a few years Jake”
“I get that”
“So, why are you here? Where’s Danny? What’s he done?”-
“Jake?” They turned at the sound of another voice and saw Danny himself stood there staring back at them curiously. “Alfie?” he turned his gaze to their older cousin.
“You”- Alfie scowled.
“I thought I told you to wait in the pub” Jake quickly replied.
“What does it matter, we were only waiting around to find him anyway and let him know we’re here” Danny nodded towards Alfie.
“Sorry – what am I missing here?” Alfie asked somewhat annoyed.
“Uh…you see”-
“He doesn’t know does he” Danny’s eyes narrowed as he frowned at his brother. “You told me he was fine with everything!”
“Fine with what?!”
“Danny, if you give me a minute to explain to him, and then”-
“You jerk! You drag me all the way here, making out Alfie’s forgiven me for what happened, and that he’ll let us stay with him for a while, and its all a load of rubbish!”
“Jake you did what?!” Alfie snapped.
“Alfie”-
“I can’t believe you” Danny snapped and turned, walking away.
“Danny!” Jake turned and ran up to his brother.
“Get off me!” Danny shouted, shrugging his brothers hand off his shoulder, “you told me to trust you” he shook his head.
“Danny please… just let me talk to Alfie”
“What good is that going to do? He still hates me, its obvious!”
“Give me 5 minutes to talk to him, go wait in the car”
“Stuff that”-
“Danny! Wait in the car” Jake snapped sternly.
“Why should I listen to you?”
“Get in that car now, or I’ll force you in there myself!”
“FINE!” Danny shouted back and stormed across the road to where it was parked.
Jake turned to Alfie, walking back over to the stall where his cousin waited with his arms folded and an unamused expression. “You’ve got some explaining to do mate”
Jake sighed and leant against the stall next to his cousin. “Look… we need to get away for a while, and the only person I thought we could turn to, was you”
“Me? You’ve got some nerve Jake after last time… let me guess, Danny’s done something stupid again… well I’m not having you two dumping your troubles on my doorstep again”
“Its not like last time Alfie”
Alfie edged near to him, almost hissing as he said, “he brought drugs into my house Jake, my house! Which Spencer got a hold of – he was just a little kid, can you imagine if he’d taken them?”
“He’s sorry about it Alfie. He regrets it. But he’s clean now, he hasn’t taken anything like that for years… well apart from his medication”
“I’m so glad for you both that he’s clean, but Danny is irresponsible Jake, and causes trouble, I don’t need that right now!”
“What and you think I do?” Jake snapped back. “I’m the one who looks after him everyday Alfie, so don’t act like you know what he’s like. Why can’t you be there for us now huh? Why not? All I’m asking is for a small break, that’s all we need – I don’t know who needs it more, him or me. But like you said Alfie things have changed over the years, and things happen… things happen”
“And what happened recently, that’s made you think you could come down here, and I would just welcome you with open arms, and stay with me?”
“Danny tried to kill himself” Jake ended up snapping back.
Alfie stepped back and stared at Jake. “He… he what?”
“He took an overdose… a few months ago” Jake said in a quieter voice, as he swallowed and looked down at the ground.
“I thought you said”-
“Anti-depressants, his medication… he overdosed on them”
Alfie ran a hand over his face and rubbed at his eyes, “Christ Jake…. Why didn’t you let us know? What if he’d died?”-
“Didn’t your reaction just now tell you anything?” Jake snapped back, “Besides, you never contacted us about stuff”-
“But where I live, and what I do – that’s not anything to do with a life hanging on balance like that is Jake, Christ… and you’ve dealt with this alone?!”
“More or less” Jake replied, “it’s hard… its difficult. He’s been difficult before, sure, we both know that. But I can’t deal with it alone any more Alfie”
“Can’t the hospital”-
“No” Jake quickly cut him off. “He hates those places Alfie, and I don’t want him to end up like a drugged up zombie in there…”
“So… so how is he now?” Alfie asked.
“he’s been better lately, but like I said, we need a break, a new start…. Please Alfie, I’m begging you, we both need this”
Alfie sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “… for you Jake… Alright. Alright… but me and Nana are stuck in a small flat, there’s hardly any room already”
“Thank, thanks so much, we’ll take the floor in the bathroom if we have to” Jake smiled relived, and then looked puzzled. “What about Spencer, where is he?”
“Ibiza” Alfie smiled sadly, “his girlfriend went there, to be a holiday rep. You know what a romantic fool he is, went after her and they send postcards to me now and again… they’re happy”
“Alright for some eh?” Jake shifted on his feet.
“Seriously though Jake – is Danny alright? I mean, I’ve seen him low, but I never thought he’d be the type to kill himself… why?”
Jake sighed, “Because he wasn’t happy”
“Obviously, come on now”-
“Really Alfie… the first thing he said to me when I asked him why he did it, why he took all those anti-depressants, the first thing he said was because he thought it would make him really happy… and he believed it. And not just that, but that everyone would be happy and better off if he was gone, like we’d celebrate that he wasn’t here any more to cause any trouble for anyone, or be a burden. He said that everyone leaves him anyway, and its either them hurting him or him hurting them… that’s why I can’t just abandon him. He’s my brother, and I love him, I’ve got to be there for him. But that’s not enough. He needs more support than that, and I need support somehow… you must know what its like Alfie, what with looking after Nana. I know its not the same but still, you’d do anything for her right? And sometimes you’ll just want a break right?”
“Yeah… yeah I understand” Alfie replied as he stared down at the floor. “Look, I’ll sleep on the sofa while you stay, you and Danny can take my room”-
“You don’t have to do that, we can take the sofa and floor”-
“No, I insist. You two stay in my room. Look, here” Alfie fumbled around in his jacket pocket and took out his keys, “take them, they’re for the apartment. Actually – hey, zoe!”
A girl in a pink coat turned, “what Alfie?”
“Can you mind the stall for 10 minutes darling, I just got to sort out something”
“Sure, no problem” Zoe replied.
“Right, I’ll take you two to my ‘humble abode’. Nana’s out right now, so I’ll have to explain to her this little surprise when she gets back. Where’s Danny?” Alfie asked Jake.
“The car, he’s waiting in there” Jake nodded towards it. “Can you wait here? Give me a minute to talk to him?”
“Sure”
Jake smiled back at his cousin gratefully before jogging over to the car. He could see through the windows that his brother was sat in the passenger seat glaring ahead at nothing in particular.
Jake tapped on the window. Danny looked back at his brother through the window, not making a sign of opening either the window or the door.
“Alfie’s letting us stay” Jake said clearly enough for Danny to hear and understand.
Danny just gave him a look.
Jake sighed and opened up the door, leaning down to be eye level with him. “I mean it, he’s letting us stay. I talked to him, explained a few things, and he’s fine with us staying here. Come on, he’s going to show us to the flat he and Nana have right now”
Danny didn’t budge. “So, did you lie to him as well, or did you really tell him the truth and explained things as they are?”
“Danny please. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lied. But come on, he IS letting us stay with him, so its not like nothing came from this”
“Did you tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“Tell him about what happened”
“You mean…”-
“Yeah, that, did you tell him about that”
“…I had to”
“Oh great, so you mean he’s letting us stay because he feels sorry for the nutter, no not sorry, perhaps guilty, yeah because you’re stuck with the nutter… no wait, he’s probably making sure he’s around next time so I do actually die”
“DANNY!” Jake shouted. “How can you even think that, let alone say it!”
Danny frowned with shame and stared ahead.
“I can’t believe you, you ungrateful… fine. Fine, I’ll go back and tell him we’re leaving and going back home shall I?” Jake snapped. “Will that make you happy, will it Danny?”
Danny slid a bit lower in his seat. “No” he replied quietly. Because Jake won’t be happy, he thought. “I’m sorry. I’ve messed things up again haven’t I? You’re trying to make things better and I ruin it, as usual”
“No. No you have a right to be angry at me because I lied… but please Danny, come with me and Alfie, he will show us his flat. See how it is. He’s offering us a place to stay for a while, have a break… if you really can’t stand it, then we’ll go back home, yeah?”
Danny swallowed and nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry” he looked up at his brother, “you believe me right? I didn’t mean to say…”
“I know” Jake patted him on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s see if the flat is as gaudy as Alfie’s shirts” he smirked, earning the faintest of smiles from his brother.
Great to see you writing again. Hope Danny gets better and dont try to kill himself agin. MORE!
RealityGap
30-03-2005, 09:52
Cherryz - these are brilliant so well written, thanks for the read I really enjoyed them.
WOW that was amazing poor Danny bless his little heart
“I’m sorry its not the Ritz or anything but it was the best we could do at short notice” Alfie felt the need to apologize as he stood in the middle of the lounge-slash-kitchen-slash-dining area.
“Hey it’s fine, we’ve been in worse places” Jake replied as he dumped the bags down on the floor unceremoniously.
“Wow, the wallpaper really does match half of Alfie’s wardrobe” Danny called from where he’d slipped into Alfie’s room and was currently having a nose around.
“Danny!” Jake called back, a bit embarrassed as he offered a smile to Alfie.
“What?” Danny closed the wardrobe doors and walked over to the open doorway, leaning against the frame, “got anything to eat? I’m starving” he declared.
Jake rolled his eyes.
“Check the fridge out. Look I’ve got to get back to the stall” Alfie glanced to Danny, “don’t get into trouble, and don’t break anything!”
“Yes sir” Danny rolled his eyes then gave a small mock salute.
“I mean it”
“We hear you Alfie. Are you going to leave us the key, in case we need to go out and get anything?” Jake cut in.
Alfie sighed and reluctantly handed Jake the key, “I’m trusting you guys here… don’t give me a reason to have to chuck you out” he said as he headed to the door.
“But I have to breathe” Danny joked.
Jake elbowed Danny lightly, “see you later Alfie” he smiled as friendly as he could, to get rid of the look on Alfie’s face.
The front door closed after Alfie left and Jake turned to face his brother. “What are you like?”
“Hard on the outside, and squishy within?” Danny shrugged. “So, are you making me something to eat or not?”
Jake shook his head and walked over to the fridge, pulling the door open and looking in, “ooh” he coughed and stepped away, closing it back up, “unless you want milk, cheese, an unidentified object in a bag or some salad, there’s nothing”
Danny frowned. “Well, we have the key, and you have money right? Buy some food, or else, Alfie will return and find me chewing on your leg, driven to cannibalism from desperateness”
“Okay, I get the message, you’re hungry, but really I did not that mental image” Jake sighed and glanced around, “alright, we’ll go buy food”
“Thank you” Danny said, zipping up his jacket.
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
“Happy now you’re stuffing your face?” Jake asked his brother as he dug into chips they bought on the way back.
“Yes thanks” Danny replied, shutting the door behind them with his foot.
“Good” Jake walked over to the kitchen counter and put the carrier bags of shopping down on it. “We should probably do something useful around here, before Alfie gets back”
“Like what?” Danny sat down on the sofa, with one leg tucked underneath him as he put the chips down on his lap.
“Unpack, tidy up…”
“Yeah if we had a couple of years spare, maybe we could do something to make the place look half decent”
“Don’t be rude”
“Alfie’s not here to offend”
“…so?”
“Come on, you think this place is a dump as well, and Alfie knows it’s no palace either”
“I’m guessing this place is just temporary for him and Nana anyway. You know what Alfie’s like, always got some kind of plan, and good things come to him in time”
“Yeah, yeah… these are hot” Danny moved the chips off his lap and onto the coffee table, before wiping his hands down his jean covered thighs.
“So, are you helping me or not?”
“Helping with what?”
Jake sighed, “never mind, just finish eating”
They looked up when they heard the door being unlocked. They glanced at each other then back at the door as it swung open.
There was a cry of surprise.
(\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/)
Alfie sighed as he wearily got back to the flat, and reached the front door. What a day it had been. It had been hell on the stall – it was freezing, it rained on and off, he had few customers, which meant less money, and his cousins… he didn’t even want to get started on that.
He opened the front door and was momentarily frozen with alarm, when he heard his Nana laughing, and saw that she was sat between Jake and Danny on the sofa, cups of tea in hands. This happy family kind of image was scary even to him.
“Nana” Alfie started.
“Oh Alfie, hello love! What a nice surprise you arranged, letting Jacob and Daniel visit and stay with us. You sit down while I make you a nice cup of tea. Good day on the stall was it dear?” Nana rambled on as she stood up and made her way to the kettle.
“Uh, not bad Nana, not bad” Alfie replied as he took the seat she had a moment ago been in. “What have you two told her?” he lowered his voice and directed the question at Jake.
“Just that you’d arranged with us to come stay here for a while with you both” Jake replied.
“Is that all? You haven’t said anything about”-
“No” Jake cut in with the answer.
Danny frowned slightly and leaned back a bit more in his seat.
“The boys went food shopping Alfie, they brought home some lovely treats. Did you want any biscuits with your tea?” Nana called.
“Nah, you’re alright thanks Nana” Alfie called back.
“Hey Danny” Jake leaned forward and tapped his watch.
“Huh?”
“Your pills, its time” Jake said in a quiet voice. Alfie licked his lips and glanced around feeling somewhat awkward.
Danny sighed and stared ahead.
“Dan”-
“Yeah, yeah, I’m doing it” Danny got up from the sofa and crossed towards the bedroom. He stepped in and turned as he held onto the door, giving Jake a look before shutting it.
“Is he alright taking them on his own? Considering”-
“Yeah” Jake shrugged his cousin off.
“Here you are love… oh, what’s Daniel doing?” Nana handed Alfie his cup of tea and glanced around looking a bit confused.
“He’s just getting a paracetamol Nana, he’s had a bit of a headache lingering since this morning” Jake quickly answered.
Alfie gave him a look.
“Oh dear. Should I see if he wants anything?”
“No Nana, you put your feet up and relax. I’ll see how he is” Jake smiled sweetly at her as he got up and entered the bedroom. He carefully closed the door behind him and turned to see his brother sat cross legged on the middle of the bed staring down at his folded arms on his lap.
“I’ve taken them, you can check if you want” Danny sighed.
“No I believe you… are you alright Danny?” Jake sat down on the edge of the bed next to him.
“Yeah… No…” Danny glanced to the side at his brother, “How am I supposed to act?”
“What?”
“Nana thinks everything’s alright and she’s oblivious to everything as usual, Alfie is still giving me glares but walking around on eggshells like he thinks I’m gunna break down any moment and you…”
“What about me?”
“Someone’s gone overboard on the daddy role haven’t they? If you’re not telling me what to do, or how to do it, you’re acting like I’m some brat you’re stuck babysitting, or acting like I don’t know what you’re talking about with Alfie”
“I’m. I’m sorry” Jake shifted. “I didn’t realize I was doing it or making you feel like that, I’m just”-
“Looking out for me, because you’re my brother, I got it, I know” Danny nodded.
“Danny, you make it seem like I’m doing everything because I have to, not because I want to”
Danny rubbed his eyes, “sorry. Its just this medication, thinking, and, and coming here and everything, and Alfie…”
“Maybe you just need some sleep, its been a long day” Jake put a hand on his brothers shoulder and rubbed it.
“Yeah” Danny nodded.
“Which side are you taking?” Jake asked as he stood up from the bed.
Danny flopped backwards and rolled to the right and then the left, before declaring “Right” and rolling back onto that side.
Jake smirked, “Okay, the right it is. So later if you whine about switching sides – tough”
“But what if my whole mental-well being depends on it?”
“Danny, don’t be such a drama queen" Jake rolled his eyes and chucked a pillow at him.
“Hard on the outside, and squishy within?” .
So true bout Danny keep it coming babes it's fab
Fab. Cant wait for the next bit.
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