Mr Humphries
20-10-2006, 10:21
Wednesday 25th October
Now there's a cliff-hanger in the original sense of the term. Surprisingly, though, Ric is not the one who ends up in hospital. You see, the effort Macca puts into wrestling Ric to safety results in his stomach wound reopening - a case of a stitch in time makes nine, perhaps (You're fired - Ed). Anyway, that's enough heroics for one day, and Cassie is stunned by the events. "I guess I should probably say thanks, then", she moos. However, this ingratitude doesn't put Ric off. "I would never hurt you", he pleads. "I love you, Cass. Now if you can look me in the eyes and honestly tell me you don't love me then, cool, I'll let it go. I just don't think that's going to be the case." Macca also piles the pressure on, and later tells Ric that he won't be giving up on Cassie without a fight. So will the best man - i.e. Ric - win the girl's heart? Well, in actual fact, they both end up as losers. "I love everything about you apart from one little thing", she tells Macca. (The bruises didn't look that little to us.) "And it's the one thing I can never risk again", she continues, before closing the door on their relationship forever. As for Ric? Well, although she trusts him again, she just wants to be on her own for a while. We'll see how long it lasts.
Families usually come together in times of crisis. However, where Amanda and Kitty are concerned, this couldn't be further from the truth. "I don't want to lose my daughter and my granddaughter", Kitty mewls, after informing Mandy that Belle was one of the victims of the chopper crash. "Tough", replies the Vale of Darkness. "You're all out of chances." Kitty fails to make amends a second time after summoning Amanda to her house and presenting her with a box of Belle-related photos, trinkets, letters, school reports, dental records and quite possibly toenail clippings too. Amanda thinks that this is an obvious ploy to weasel her way back into her good books and she's had quite enough of her mother's emotional blackmail. She turns to leave, causing her mother's dam to burst. "Oh for god's sake, stop acting for once in your life", Amanda sneers, as the tears roll down Kitty's cheeks. "It doesn't work on me anymore." We take it that she's off the Christmas card list, then.
Morag, who is dressed as Colonel Mustard again, sails into the Surf Club panic with all the majesty of a royal yacht. "It is not a sin, you know, going home to get some rest", she says as she fixes Alf with her beady eyes. However, Alf still refuses to budge despite the fact that he's clearly shattered and hasn't slept a wink for about a fortnight. And it looks as though he won't be putting his feet up for another two weeks when news filters through that the search party has wrapped up for the night. The room ends up containing more long faces than a Celine Dion look-alikes convention. "It's been over 24 hours, Morag", whispers Alf as he struggles to lift his gaze from the floor. "24 hours." They're definitely out there somewhere, but the hope that our loved ones have survived is fading fast...
Thursday 26th October
"How can there be no sign of anything?" whines Tasha, when she hears the news that the search party returned home empty handed. "There must be some wreckage or something." Well, yes, but not where they've been looking. As everybody gathers around Tasha's hospital bed, Irene begins to think that she has friends in high places and suggests a prayer. "It's been a while since I've been to church," she begins, "but I remember they always spoke about god's will; that everything happens for a reason. Lord, we don't know the reason for this - maybe it's a test of our strength - but please help us to get through this. More than anything else, please keep the ones that we love safe." Rachel listens from the doorway with folded arms, before turning tail and throwing herself back into her work with renewed vigour. Leah wonders why she didn't join in, but Rachel doesn't think that spiels such as Irene's are going to make any difference. "I see bad things happening to good people all the time", she sighs. "And no amount of prayer can change that." It's all about the science where Rachel is concerned - and the logical outcome of the accident is that everyone involved is dead. All she can do is help the people she knows to be alive.
You have to admire the Queen of All Evil for her persistence at least. Kitty sends Joan, her housekeeper, to do her dirty work for her and attempt to cajole Amanda into patching things up. Although the flames she breathes send Joan away with a scorched behind, Amanda eventually relents - after Dan has a word - and slithers up to her mother's bedside. "I've deprived you of your precious daughter", chokes Kitty, "and now I've done the same to myself." Yes, our hearts bleed too. "If you could give me a second chance, I promise you I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you." This isn't quite enough to sway her, so Joan also puts on the emotional thumbscrews. Soon afterwards, Amanda admits that she's hurt an awful lot of people too - malevolence is obviously a family trait - and tells her mum that she's not going to hold a grudge for all the rotten things she's done in the past. This doesn't mean forgiveness, but she won't be wasting any more time on hatred. "Maybe I'll call you sometime", she smiles, as she heads for the door. But something tells us that Kitty will be phoning her first...
Alf, since you ask, is still working away like he's got a gun to his head. He ignores Colleen when she orders him to take a break, but Morag thinks she's right. "Don't tell me to calm down, Morag!" he bellows. "If all you can do is take pot shots at me then you might as well get aaaaaaaaargh." Pardon? "Aaaaargh", Alf repeats, grabbing his chest and keeling over. Oh no! Has he had a heart attack? Thankfully not - it was merely a flutter and a stern warning that he really needs to start taking it easy. However, this looks more and more unlikely after Tony reveals that the police are diverting most of the search rescue squad to fight local bush fires instead. The general consensus is, now it has been four days since the accident, the hunt should now be scaled back to a body recovery mission (which all sounds pretty final). Leah swiftly passes the news on to Rachel. "I tried praying for them", she admits, while clutching her mother's beads. "But I was right the first time. Hope might work for everybody else, but it doesn't work for me. If there was a god - if he did exist - he wouldn't have wanted to take them from me in the first place." Well, Rachel, perhaps you shouldn't give up just yet. After all, soap opera writers work in mysterious ways...
Now there's a cliff-hanger in the original sense of the term. Surprisingly, though, Ric is not the one who ends up in hospital. You see, the effort Macca puts into wrestling Ric to safety results in his stomach wound reopening - a case of a stitch in time makes nine, perhaps (You're fired - Ed). Anyway, that's enough heroics for one day, and Cassie is stunned by the events. "I guess I should probably say thanks, then", she moos. However, this ingratitude doesn't put Ric off. "I would never hurt you", he pleads. "I love you, Cass. Now if you can look me in the eyes and honestly tell me you don't love me then, cool, I'll let it go. I just don't think that's going to be the case." Macca also piles the pressure on, and later tells Ric that he won't be giving up on Cassie without a fight. So will the best man - i.e. Ric - win the girl's heart? Well, in actual fact, they both end up as losers. "I love everything about you apart from one little thing", she tells Macca. (The bruises didn't look that little to us.) "And it's the one thing I can never risk again", she continues, before closing the door on their relationship forever. As for Ric? Well, although she trusts him again, she just wants to be on her own for a while. We'll see how long it lasts.
Families usually come together in times of crisis. However, where Amanda and Kitty are concerned, this couldn't be further from the truth. "I don't want to lose my daughter and my granddaughter", Kitty mewls, after informing Mandy that Belle was one of the victims of the chopper crash. "Tough", replies the Vale of Darkness. "You're all out of chances." Kitty fails to make amends a second time after summoning Amanda to her house and presenting her with a box of Belle-related photos, trinkets, letters, school reports, dental records and quite possibly toenail clippings too. Amanda thinks that this is an obvious ploy to weasel her way back into her good books and she's had quite enough of her mother's emotional blackmail. She turns to leave, causing her mother's dam to burst. "Oh for god's sake, stop acting for once in your life", Amanda sneers, as the tears roll down Kitty's cheeks. "It doesn't work on me anymore." We take it that she's off the Christmas card list, then.
Morag, who is dressed as Colonel Mustard again, sails into the Surf Club panic with all the majesty of a royal yacht. "It is not a sin, you know, going home to get some rest", she says as she fixes Alf with her beady eyes. However, Alf still refuses to budge despite the fact that he's clearly shattered and hasn't slept a wink for about a fortnight. And it looks as though he won't be putting his feet up for another two weeks when news filters through that the search party has wrapped up for the night. The room ends up containing more long faces than a Celine Dion look-alikes convention. "It's been over 24 hours, Morag", whispers Alf as he struggles to lift his gaze from the floor. "24 hours." They're definitely out there somewhere, but the hope that our loved ones have survived is fading fast...
Thursday 26th October
"How can there be no sign of anything?" whines Tasha, when she hears the news that the search party returned home empty handed. "There must be some wreckage or something." Well, yes, but not where they've been looking. As everybody gathers around Tasha's hospital bed, Irene begins to think that she has friends in high places and suggests a prayer. "It's been a while since I've been to church," she begins, "but I remember they always spoke about god's will; that everything happens for a reason. Lord, we don't know the reason for this - maybe it's a test of our strength - but please help us to get through this. More than anything else, please keep the ones that we love safe." Rachel listens from the doorway with folded arms, before turning tail and throwing herself back into her work with renewed vigour. Leah wonders why she didn't join in, but Rachel doesn't think that spiels such as Irene's are going to make any difference. "I see bad things happening to good people all the time", she sighs. "And no amount of prayer can change that." It's all about the science where Rachel is concerned - and the logical outcome of the accident is that everyone involved is dead. All she can do is help the people she knows to be alive.
You have to admire the Queen of All Evil for her persistence at least. Kitty sends Joan, her housekeeper, to do her dirty work for her and attempt to cajole Amanda into patching things up. Although the flames she breathes send Joan away with a scorched behind, Amanda eventually relents - after Dan has a word - and slithers up to her mother's bedside. "I've deprived you of your precious daughter", chokes Kitty, "and now I've done the same to myself." Yes, our hearts bleed too. "If you could give me a second chance, I promise you I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you." This isn't quite enough to sway her, so Joan also puts on the emotional thumbscrews. Soon afterwards, Amanda admits that she's hurt an awful lot of people too - malevolence is obviously a family trait - and tells her mum that she's not going to hold a grudge for all the rotten things she's done in the past. This doesn't mean forgiveness, but she won't be wasting any more time on hatred. "Maybe I'll call you sometime", she smiles, as she heads for the door. But something tells us that Kitty will be phoning her first...
Alf, since you ask, is still working away like he's got a gun to his head. He ignores Colleen when she orders him to take a break, but Morag thinks she's right. "Don't tell me to calm down, Morag!" he bellows. "If all you can do is take pot shots at me then you might as well get aaaaaaaaargh." Pardon? "Aaaaargh", Alf repeats, grabbing his chest and keeling over. Oh no! Has he had a heart attack? Thankfully not - it was merely a flutter and a stern warning that he really needs to start taking it easy. However, this looks more and more unlikely after Tony reveals that the police are diverting most of the search rescue squad to fight local bush fires instead. The general consensus is, now it has been four days since the accident, the hunt should now be scaled back to a body recovery mission (which all sounds pretty final). Leah swiftly passes the news on to Rachel. "I tried praying for them", she admits, while clutching her mother's beads. "But I was right the first time. Hope might work for everybody else, but it doesn't work for me. If there was a god - if he did exist - he wouldn't have wanted to take them from me in the first place." Well, Rachel, perhaps you shouldn't give up just yet. After all, soap opera writers work in mysterious ways...