Bryan
02-10-2005, 15:13
Tanya Turner returns to Earls Park, a drunken fool...who has forgotten how to be a bitch, and goes to nightskule to learn it where a mrs A carrington is her teacher.....
Bitches Reunited!
Tanya walks into the room, Tracy Luv from Corrie, Chrissie and Janine from Eastenders and Nat Buxton from Bad Girls are sitting around in a circle.
Nat Buxton: Oh look it's the new girl...
Tanya: Look I dont want to fight... i just want to...
Tracy Luv: You dont want to fight? That's a bitches number one pastime! You definatly need the lessons...
Janine: So then...mz manicure...why dya wanna be a bitch?
Tanya: I was a bitch...but i've lost it....
Chrissie: Along with the show you appear in....
Tracy Luv, Janie & Nat Buxton: Meow!!!! Now that's bitchy! Gold Star Chrissie!
Nat Buxton: How do you mean you lost it?
Tanya: Well my puffy boyfriend's crazy mrs grassed me up and sent me packing in a helicopter...
Janine: *coughs* kim tate exit ripoff!
Chrissie: Grassed you up? Why what have you done? It'd better be good, i killed a soap legend with a dog, Nat touches up little kiddies, Tracy Luv uses her kid as a weapon and Janine pushed her fatty husband down a hill? So then dya think you can beat that?
Tanya: You make it sound like a poker hand...
Nat Bux: Common you rich bitch, tell us what you've done?
Tanya: Well i put a bloke in a coma, bribed a nurse to kill him, then when she didnt i prentended that i was his girflfriend and screwed him, then i accused him of rape and moved onto to a barely legal virgin, and then i knikced the poofy cpatain off his indi mrs, and then we had the mother of all bitch fights...
Tracy Luv: Not as big as mine and Karen's...
Janine: Or mine and Laura's!
Tanya: Then i got Conrad, and then i swapped his babibes, you know the usual stuff...
Nat Buxton: Well it looks like you deserve a place in this lesson then...
Tanya: Thank you...so then who's our teacher...
Janine: Alexis Carrington, the biggest bitch in TV history...she was on one of them stupid American soaps... dallas was it?
Chrissie: Dynasty!
Tracy Luv: Who cares it was rubbish anyways...
The door bangs open and in walks Alexis, thousands of pounds of plastic surgery, fake tan, shoulder pads and slap!
Alexis: Good evenining bitches...
Tanya: Mom...
Bitches Reunited!
Tanya walks into the room, Tracy Luv from Corrie, Chrissie and Janine from Eastenders and Nat Buxton from Bad Girls are sitting around in a circle.
Nat Buxton: Oh look it's the new girl...
Tanya: Look I dont want to fight... i just want to...
Tracy Luv: You dont want to fight? That's a bitches number one pastime! You definatly need the lessons...
Janine: So then...mz manicure...why dya wanna be a bitch?
Tanya: I was a bitch...but i've lost it....
Chrissie: Along with the show you appear in....
Tracy Luv, Janie & Nat Buxton: Meow!!!! Now that's bitchy! Gold Star Chrissie!
Nat Buxton: How do you mean you lost it?
Tanya: Well my puffy boyfriend's crazy mrs grassed me up and sent me packing in a helicopter...
Janine: *coughs* kim tate exit ripoff!
Chrissie: Grassed you up? Why what have you done? It'd better be good, i killed a soap legend with a dog, Nat touches up little kiddies, Tracy Luv uses her kid as a weapon and Janine pushed her fatty husband down a hill? So then dya think you can beat that?
Tanya: You make it sound like a poker hand...
Nat Bux: Common you rich bitch, tell us what you've done?
Tanya: Well i put a bloke in a coma, bribed a nurse to kill him, then when she didnt i prentended that i was his girflfriend and screwed him, then i accused him of rape and moved onto to a barely legal virgin, and then i knikced the poofy cpatain off his indi mrs, and then we had the mother of all bitch fights...
Tracy Luv: Not as big as mine and Karen's...
Janine: Or mine and Laura's!
Tanya: Then i got Conrad, and then i swapped his babibes, you know the usual stuff...
Nat Buxton: Well it looks like you deserve a place in this lesson then...
Tanya: Thank you...so then who's our teacher...
Janine: Alexis Carrington, the biggest bitch in TV history...she was on one of them stupid American soaps... dallas was it?
Chrissie: Dynasty!
Tracy Luv: Who cares it was rubbish anyways...
The door bangs open and in walks Alexis, thousands of pounds of plastic surgery, fake tan, shoulder pads and slap!
Alexis: Good evenining bitches...
Tanya: Mom...