hutton square

[big bro fan]

hi this is my own soap called hutton square which is a estate with a shop pub garage and a cafe. please give me some feedback so here is my first episode

hutton square
episode 1

scene 1
the williams family kitchen

spencer:i know your our sister and everything sharon but your like a mum to us.
sharon:well someones got to feed you and ricky
spencer looks at the clock
spencer:well better get going dont want to be late for the office
spencer leaves sharon walks into the living room and picks up a photo
sharon:i miss you mum and dad
ricky comes downstairs
ricky:whats up sharon
sharon:nothing just miss mum and dad thats all
ricky:well why dont you call them
sharon:yeah i think i will

scene 2
bob and vivs shop

viv:bob did you notice anything wrong with craig this morning
bob:no love why did you
viv:yeah a mother can always tell these things
bob:what things
viv:i think he wants a job he's always looking so bored, im going over the pub back soon

scene 3
the greyhound

grant:what can i get ya max
max:just a pint please grant
grant pulls max's pint
grant:so not opening up today
max:nah it's so hard running a garage with one man
viv walks in
viv:g and t please grant
grant:coming up
max:hey viv whats your craig up to these days
viv:not much why
max:could you ask him to meet me in here tonight about eight
viv:yeah allright then

scene 4
sharon spencer and rickys house

sharon picks up the phone and dials a number
sharon:hello mum it's me

scene 5
the market

craig walks over to dennis's stall

craig:dennis have you got any jobs going
dennis:sorry craig
viv runs over
viv:craig max said he wants to meet you in the pub later
craig:what for
viv:dont know
craig:thanks for me letting me know mum bye
dennis:have you ever thought of running a market stall viv
viv:no
dennis:well if anyone you know wants to bye one let me know
viv:allright then

scene 6
the cafe

spencer walks in
spencer:tea please peggy
peggy:allright darling
spencer walks over to sharon
spencer:whats up
sharon:meet me in the pub tonight i have an announcement to make
spencer: see you later then

scene 7
tina and alfie's house

tina:grandad
alfie:yes tina
tina:do you want to go to the pub later
alfie:yeah allright then i can meet pauline and jim

scene 8
ricky sharon and spencers house

sharon;ricky are you ready
ricky comes downstairs
sharon:wow nice six pack
ricky:thanks have you seen my shirt
sharon:yeah in the lounge

scene 9
the greyhound

max spots craig come in
max:craig over here
craig:allright max so what did you want to meet me for
max:well i want to know if you want a job
craig:yeah that would be great

viv bob pauline and jim walk in

craig:mum dad nan grandad i got a job
jim:welldone son
craig:thanks grandad

sharon ricky and spencer walk in

sharon:grant can i make an announcement
grant:sure
sharon:everyone i just want to say that im moving to spain to get my mum and dad come home

pub goes quiet

spencer:well then i guess im coming with you

sharon looks and smiles

spencer:heres to spain

[big bro fan]

next episode up tommorow

[big bro fan]

episode 2

scene 1
ricky and spencers bedroom

spencer:ricky wake up
ricky:what
spencer:have you seen my sunglasses
ricky:in my washing basket
spencer:what are they doing in there
ricky:i borrowed them one night and when i came back my shirt was wet so i took it off and
spencer:yeah ok i dont want to know

scene 2
the greyhound

louise and grant are having breakfast in the backroom

louise:its not going to be the same
grant:whats up love
louise:im going to miss sharon she's my best mate
grant:well what shall we do about it
louise:i know lets have a party tonight
grant:well allright then i'll close up for today so we can decorate
louise:i love you

scene 3
sharons bedroom

spencer walks in

spencer:are you packed
sharon:yeah what time do we leave
spencer:tommorow afternoon
sharon:we should go for a drink tonight down the greyhound say goodbye i mean were going to be gone for 2 months
spencer:if it takes two months for mum and dad to sell there house and move back to hutton square its fine with me
sharon:i hope ricky will be fine
spencer:he's got the house to himself and there's all those single girls im sure he'll be fine

scene 4
the cafe

ricky is having a tea with louise

louise:so if you get sharon and spencer to the pub later then we can have a proper farewell party for them
ricky:sounds great i'll go home and tell them to come over tonight
louise:great see you later

scene 5
bob and viv's shop

viv:cant wait for this party tonight should be fun
bob:i dont know if we can afford to go out tonight love
viv:why
bob:because the shops not bringing as much buisness as it used to
viv:well why dont we go on the market dennis said he would sell us his stall we could make more money that way
bob:allright but we need to have a talk with him discuss his suppliers and eveything
viv:i'll ask mike and lynn to come to we can have dinner tommorow

scene 6
the greyhound

grant:lookin good
louise:thank you
grant:have we had any offers on the barmaid job yet
louise:yeah viv phillips
grant:well when you see her tell her she's hired

scene 7
sharon's lounge

sharon:spencer are you ready
spencer:yeah let's go
sharon:hang on we need to wait for ricky

scene 8
outside the greyhound

viv and louise are talking

viv:so you want to offer me the job
louise:if you want it
viv:yes id love to
louise:so can you start tommorow
viv:yeah if you want me to
viv starts smiling

scene 9
inside the greyhound

the whole square is in the pub it goes quiet as ricky sharon and spencer walk in then everyone cheers

sharon:this is great
louise:well its for someone special isnt it
sharon:i dont know what to say

kate williams comes into the bar

kate:well hello mum might be a start

[bakedbean]

This is pretty good, i can see i have my hands full with Exeter seen as i have some new competition.

[big bro fan]

looking forward to the competition from you and merseysiders

[baileya]

very good start. Good line at the end,'Hello mum would be nice.'

[big bro fan]

im glad you like it the next episode is up tommorow when sharon finds out why her mum is back so early

[big bro fan]

from now on i am going to be writing a newer and better version of hutton square. im writing a new one because its going to have new characters some the same better storylines and i feel that i can do better than these two episodes i wrote will have new soap up later today hopefully

[Trinity]

This isn't really a critisism, but perhaps you could come up with some more original names?

[big bro fan]

your right thats why im going to start again