phils little sister
06-09-2005, 12:24
The baby photographer
> > > >
> > > > The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use
> > > > surrogate father to start their family.
> > > >
> > > > On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his
wife
> > > > and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
> > > >
> > > > Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer
> > > > rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
> > > >
> > > > "Good morning madam. I've come to......"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs Smith
cut
in.
> > > >
> > > > "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is
> > > > babies."
> > > >
> > > > "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and
have
> > > > seat."
> > > >
> > > > After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
the
> > > > bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed.
Sometimes
> > > > the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
for
Harry
> > > > and me."
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good
one
every
> > > > time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot
from
six
> > > > or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of ..."
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his
time.
> > > > I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be
disappointed
> > > > with that, I'm sure."
> > > >
> > > > Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it!"
> > > >
> > > > The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of
> > > > his baby pictures.
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "This was done on the top of a bus."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "Oh, my god!!"
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well,
when
> > > > you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "She was difficult?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
to
the
> > > > park to get the job done right. People were crowding around
four
and
> > > > five deep, pushing to get a good look."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes widened in amazement)
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The
mother
> > > > was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate!
> > > > Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally,
when
> > > > the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it
all
> > > > in."
> > > >
> > > > Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your
um...
> > > > equipment?"
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready,
I'll
set
> > > > up my tripod so that we can get to work."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "Tripod??
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon
on.
> > > > It's much too big for me to hold very long......
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Madam?... ...Good Lord, she's fainted!!"
> > > >
> > > > The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use
> > > > surrogate father to start their family.
> > > >
> > > > On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his
wife
> > > > and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
> > > >
> > > > Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer
> > > > rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
> > > >
> > > > "Good morning madam. I've come to......"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs Smith
cut
in.
> > > >
> > > > "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is
> > > > babies."
> > > >
> > > > "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and
have
> > > > seat."
> > > >
> > > > After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
the
> > > > bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed.
Sometimes
> > > > the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
for
Harry
> > > > and me."
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good
one
every
> > > > time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot
from
six
> > > > or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of ..."
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his
time.
> > > > I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be
disappointed
> > > > with that, I'm sure."
> > > >
> > > > Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it!"
> > > >
> > > > The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of
> > > > his baby pictures.
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "This was done on the top of a bus."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "Oh, my god!!"
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well,
when
> > > > you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "She was difficult?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
to
the
> > > > park to get the job done right. People were crowding around
four
and
> > > > five deep, pushing to get a good look."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes widened in amazement)
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The
mother
> > > > was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate!
> > > > Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally,
when
> > > > the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it
all
> > > > in."
> > > >
> > > > Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your
um...
> > > > equipment?"
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready,
I'll
set
> > > > up my tripod so that we can get to work."
> > > >
> > > > Wife - "Tripod??
> > > >
> > > > Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon
on.
> > > > It's much too big for me to hold very long......
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Madam?... ...Good Lord, she's fainted!!"