joint story by Angeldelight & Joel_Beckett_Lover

[Angeldelight]

Part One

Change is difficult but often essential to survival
~ Les Brown ~

Chrissie lay in bed and stared at the sun through the slightly ajar curtains. She could still smell him, he’d been gone 5 days, he’d phoned to say they were all right, that they were safe and still she could smell his scent on the bed they’d shared, before he’d ran away there was no other word for it. He’d run from a man who if found them would kill Danny, would kill them both as Jake wouldn’t allow Danny to come to any harm.

She sighed to herself and shifted her gaze to the ceiling. They’d gradually been getting somewhere, together. When she’d started to let him in, when she couldn’t hold out against him, when she wanted to be with him, and when finally he’d had to run and left her there thinking, wondering, what was he doing, would he ever be coming back, living with regrets seemed pointless, but couldn’t she just a little.

Chrissie stood behind the bar of the pub she owned, the pub she’d fought for and now ran with a chilling secret. ‘Secrets never stay secret for long’ she could hear her mother’s voice echo in her mind as she had countless times since the fatal night in February. She glanced over at the fruit machine, at the patch on the floor where she’d gotten down on her knees and mopped up her husbands blood. That was the night that had made her, that had and would always be there, in the back of her mind, that night, the night she’d killed her husband had made her who she was, who she would be for the rest of her life, a murderer, a betrayed woman who couldn’t take it any more. She’d vowed while dragging his body into the shallow grave, that she’d never, ever let herself be taken like that, she never put all her faith in man to have it thrown back at her, but hadn’t she done a similar thing with Jake, she wondered.

She’d let him in, she’d let her guard down and was herself with him, could be herself around him, she’d started to want, to believe that maybe just maybe, but in the end he’d chosen over her and he’d left. She’d wanted him to stay, stay with her here but he couldn’t, she understood that but she didn’t have to like it. Danny had been a blight on their relationship if you could call it that since the beginning, he’d talked her into a date to lunch ‘me and my flowers will just sit here if you don’t mind’. He’d made her laugh one thing she couldn’t hold out against, he’d made her feel special, he’d made her laugh and above all he made her feel safe.

Sharon- how you doing?
Chrissie smiled and pulled in her emotions, good yeah, nodding her head she looked around the pub, at Sharon and Dennis canoodling behind the bar, she wanted Jake, she missed him but she needed stay focused, he wasn’t the only one with secrets, with a life on the line.

[diamond1]

wicked so far cant wait to read joel beckett lovers bit but really good so far

[Rach33]

Part Two


While we are free to choose, once we have made those choices, we are tied to the consequences of those choices
~ Russell M. Nelson ~

Jake sat alone in the deserted park, leaning against an old and worn oak tree, he’d kicked off his shoes and allowed himself to feel the freedom of the fresh air and his un-claustrophobic surroundings
His thoughts drifted back to the shadow in his life right now, the shadow that ate away his thoughts and clouded his dreams, the shadow that changed his life, Chrissie Watts
He’d been gone nearly a week and even he’d been unprepared for the feelings of lost and emptiness that washed over him. He had chosen Danny over her and now he had to live with the consequences

As he shut his eyes the endless sleepless nights were catching up with him, yet even now he didn’t sleep, he couldn’t.
After months of slowly breaking down Chrissie’s defences he finally got what he wanted and now as he sat here he’d give anything to go back, he’d give up everything just so he could return to the life he’d left behind, to life he could have had with her
Opening his eyes he watched the icy wind scoop up the fallen leaves into the air, he carried on watching them disappear into the sky and he wished he could follow them and just float away, no cares, no worries, just the feeling of being free and maybe just maybe he could get back all he lost

Glancing down at his feet, he needed to feel freedom again, he wasn’t a keeper or a nurse to his brother yet why was he still defending him and picking him up when he lost control, what about being selfish for once and living a life that he wanted instead of one he felt duty bound to live
He was tied to Danny, his brother and he was tied to a life of nothing, he was hanging on to everything by a thread, his job if you could call it that, their home it wasn’t much but it had a roof and he could lose it all because Danny couldn’t put down the bottle or take the needle from his vein, nothing could control Danny not even his own brother not anymore, he’d lost him for good
Getting up he wandered across the park and he knew he couldn’t live like this anymore but he had made a choice and as usual his choice had consequences, consequences for Danny, for himself, for his family and for Chrissie

[diamond1]

dannys a bit of a pain sometimes isnt he?bet jakes like :wall:

[squillyfer]

I love this more soon!!!

[Tamzi]

This is really good. Trust Danny to be getting in the way. Can't wait for more.
xxx

[Amber]

Brilliant! More soon, I hope :)

[Angeldelight]

Part Three

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will
~ W. Clement Stone ~

A week later Chrissie stood behind the bar of the Vic, the pub she won by default and was chained to alone, again she was still alone.

Johnny walked through the square with Tina on his arm, thinking over changing suppliers for the club. He opened the doors of the Queen Vic for Tina and smiled across at Chrissie. Chrissie froze to the spot, was she meant to say, how should she act? She took a deep cleansing breath and pushed all the doubts and worries aside. He didn’t know and wasn’t likely to bring it up, not in a pub full of punters. She’d handle this like she did everything else, put on a smile and survive. The image of Jake standing in her bedroom doorway flashed into her mind, she could admit now that she’d known even then, she’d known he was there to say good-bye, ’good-bye Jake, good-bye Chrissie’. She pushed the memory aside with doubts and worries, he was gone and she was here she’d survive; she’d always been a survivor.
Johnny- an orange juice and white wine please Chrissie
Chrissie nodded, coming up, she moved away to pour the drinks

Chrissie watched Johnny take the drinks over to Tina, she saw the way he looked at her, the way he stroked a hand over her arm when he talked to Tina. The way Tina smiled at him, laughed at his joke, leaned over for a quick kiss. Chrissie felt the pang of jealousy run through her, why was she jealous? She knew, she’d never had that she realised, not with Steve and definitely not with Den, she’d never been an equal, never been loved for being just Chrissie. She had never felt completely loved, the simple affection she watched now made her yearn. Yearn for Jake and for what they could have had together, yearn slightly for the man she’d killed, and the life she thought they’d have together. But they were just yearnings and dreams, you couldn’t live your life on those you had reality to look at, you had to just carry on, and may be hoping that one day, they’d be more than that.

Chrissie closed the doors and the click of the lock echoed around the empty pub. She moved swiftly over to the other set and clicked the lock. She needed silence and to be alone, her thoughts and feelings had been swirling all week, she had to admit that she’d been waiting and wanting. Waiting and wanting Jake to walk through the doors she’d just locked and take her away, away from this place and from her own memories. May be that’s want she wanted all along, that’s what he’d made her feel, she was just Chrissie with him, an equal, a beautiful woman. Not a murderer, not Den Watts wife and not a victim, not all the things she felt for months, was that it. Did she just want to be taken away, to pretend to herself that those things hadn’t happened, did she see him as her escape?
She sighed but where was he now? Was he thinking about her? Was he thinking the same thing, glad that he gone, glad that he’d had Danny’s excuse?

[Tamzi]

This is fabby. Porr Chrissie, well Jake should be back soon, I hope. Can't wait for JBL's bit
xxx

[diamond1]

jbl?

[diamond1]

oh joel beckett lover i get you sorry i thought you meant someone else

[Amber]

Poor Chrissie :( Come back Jake!

[Rach33]

Part Four


It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped
~ Tony Robbins ~

The next few weeks flew by Jake was now jobless thanks to Danny and as he opened the door to the rundown squat he and Danny had found themselves, they had been kicked out of the bedsit after needles were found
Jake could hear the sound of Danny laughing the sound cut right through him that wasn’t his brother not anymore he wasn’t sure he could face him again not after the night before, he’d been drugged up to the eyeballs on whatever he could get hold of, mouthing off, kicking off at anyone over anything
He wasn’t the Danny he knew things had shifted, things had changed
Entering the dirty, blood stained, graffiti covered room, the smell of vomit and urine hit him and the sight of his brother lying on the bed laughing Jake felt a bubbling anger rise inside of him and he clenched his fists and allowed the anger to pass
Glancing up Danny smiled to his older brother he desperately wanted to make him smile
Danny- Jake Jakey guess what
Jake- what
Danny- nothing
He carried on laughing
Jake took a deep breath he wouldn’t rise to it he’d given up Chrissie for this he’d given up Chrissie for nothing

Hours later as Danny slept, Jake watched him, letting a million different thoughts run through his head and they were all full of regret
He’d protected Danny from Johnny but he couldn’t protect Danny from himself, he was on a road of self destruction and no-one not even he could stop him
Reaching out Jake stroked his sleeping brother’s cheek, a tear escaped his baby blue eyes sorry wasn’t enough but he couldn’t live like this not anymore, it was time to draw a line
He got up and gathered up his belongings it was time to be free it was time to live his own life
Grabbing the bag he made his way out not looking back he couldn’t look back

As he stood out in the street waiting for the taxi to come the reality of what he was doing hit him, should he go back, should he stay, maybe leaving wasn’t the answer he still had time to change his mind to go back to his brother
Turning he went to walk back in but he froze dead in his tracks he couldn’t, once he re-entered that place he’d never get out well not alive anyway
He took a deep breath, walking away from him was probably the hardest thing he’d ever have to do but once it was done there was no going back
The only question was where would he go, back to Albert Square, back to Chrissie, no he’d ruined his chances and there was no way he could return
The taxi pulled up and Jake climbed inside unsure of where he was heading but it was his decision, his choice, his life
He was finally free

[Tamzi]

Where is Jake going? Danny is really messed up. Can't wait for more
xxx

[squillyfer]

cant wait for the next part

[Amber]

Jake, you haven't ruined your chances with Chrissie. Go back to her or you will have. Fab, more soon.

[Amber]

Danny- Jake Jakey guess what
Jake- what
Danny- nothing
I used to do this when I was younger to annoy people! The shame of it :o!

[Angeldelight]

Part Five

Beyond each corner new directions lie in wait
~ Stanislaw Lec ~

Chrissie smiled as she watched Dennis walk towards Sharon, wrap his arms around her waist and kiss the top of her head. Whatever she had done, she was glad they’d found each other again; it was true, true love never died.
Sharon- oi
Dennis- I love you
Sharon- I love you to, lent back in his arms for a moment, now shoo
Chrissie pulled the cloths from off the pumps and looked around the empty pub; soon she’d be opening the doors for the customers and living through this day and the next. She stood there and remembered the way Sam had come to see her, sat down opposite her in the kitchen. It was over she was going, Sam was leaving, she couldn’t take it anymore. She’d booked her ticket and was going and if Chrissie had any sense she’d go too. Go? Just get up and leave, but she couldn’t Chrissie Watts was a survivor, she was strong, could she really just sell up, book a flight, pack a couple of bags and just leave, finally be free? She signed knowing that whatever had happened she couldn’t, she still couldn’t leave, not now.

Jake stood outside the church, the tall brick building was meant to offer comfort and security but it didn’t. He walked through the grounds and around the head stones, his mind a wandering mass of questions. He saw a small wooden bench away from the headstones and walking over to it sat down. What was he doing here? How could there be a god after everything he’d witnesses, after everything he’d been through in his life. Was it all just a test, hurdle after hurdle? But he’d gotten through hadn’t he, he was free to live his own life, make his own choices, his own decisions. The only question in his mind now was where? Where to go now?

Chrissie sat at her small kitchen table with the bright colours of dusk outside her window. She’d picked up some brochures earlier, all those golden beaches and deep blue seas. She could pack up and go anywhere, to any of those places and still she couldn’t, part of her was still holding on, waiting, hoping Jake would return to her. Chrissie pulled the small white plastic stick out of her pocket; she’d had to shove it there as Sharon had been knocking on the bathroom door that morning. Chrissie looked down at the clear blue lines telling her it was true, telling her she was pregnant. She’d always have a piece of Jake, but she hadn’t wanted just a piece, she’d wanted all. What was she going to do? She pushed the test into her pocket again and looked out of the window, it was time to let go, she would only destroy herself further if she kept wishing, kept hoping. Let it go, she told herself, time to let him go.

Jake looked up at the sky bright with the oranges and reds of dusk. What would Danny be doing now? Would he have noticed that he wasn’t there; would he notice that his brother had left? Jake turned his head as he heard footsteps and weeping, he saw a tall young woman with blonde hair and red puffy eyes, she stared at him then carried on walking towards him, can I sit down?
Jake nodded his head, he was no good at this sort of thing, sure
She sat beside him, closed her eyes and took a deep breath, you don’t realise, do you?
Jake looked at her, she was pale, but holding it together. What?
She opened her eyes and looked in to his, you don’t realise it’s too late until it is, I just can’t believe it
Jake- I’m sorry
She shifted on the bench and looked at him again, that’s what people say when someone’s died isn’t it, I’m sorry, but what are they sorry for? Why are they sorry?
Jake- I duno, stupid really ain’t it
The young woman laughed, a soft rolling sound that echoed, yeh… yeh, she smiled at him, that felt good
Jake smiled, it should
She laughed again, who is she then? She asked softly
Jake- what?
She smiled sympathically at him, if you’re sitting here thinking about her, then she must mean something. The young woman lent forward and gripped his hands hard, don’t let things slip through your fingers because your scared of the what if’s. If you don’t take what you want someone else will, or they forever be out of your reach. Think about it, you’re here but where do you want to be?
Jake stared into her eyes as deep blue as his own, a shiver walked its way down his spine, who are you?
The smile formed on her lips again, don’t be scared of the what if’s, times to precious. She got up and walked down the path towards the tall gate.
Jake sighed, closed his eyes and looked back but she was gone, there was nothing there, the shiver ran down his spine again, but he knew what to do, knew where he was going.

[Tamzi]

Is he going home? Chrissie's pregnant. More soon please
xxx

[hayley]

oooh! please post more soon! prefably now! lol! YAY a jakissie baby!

[Layne]

Just caught uo with it all, FAB! Post more soon please!!!

[Amber]

Is Jake going back to Chrissie? I hope so :) Yay! Chrissie's pregnant! A little tiny Jakissie baby *starts to daydream*..

[Rach33]

Apologies for the delay here is the final part to our joint story thanks for reading


One big reason is better than many little reasons
~ Morton. C. Blackwell ~

The sunlight streamed through the un-curtained windows, Chrissie had been lying there all night staring at the moon and the stars, she hadn’t slept, she couldn’t, there was too much to think about, too much to decide
Turning her head to glance at the clock Chrissie’s eyes fell upon the test
She remembered the butterflies and the buzz of excitement she had felt as she’d caught sight of the blue line appearing and now she had that same familiar feeling as a smile crept onto her face but she soon stopped
Why smile, what exactly had she to smile about, she had got away with murder and was carrying the child of a man she would never see again, he’d left her to save his brother’s life and now she felt like she was the one serving the life sentence with them
Jake trapped by Danny and she was trapped by Jake and even more so now she was having his baby, so why be happy, she was alone more alone than ever, she had no-one to share her news and joy and never before had she felt so isolated

His life and his decisions and now here he was standing outside the doors to the Queen Vic after making the hardest decision of her life and the scariest, how could he face her, how could he explain
Taking a deep breath he started walking but he stopped he couldn’t just waltz back into her life what would he say ‘Hi Honey made a mistake but I’m back’ the best he could hope for would be leaving the pub with both legs in tact
Jake thought back on the months he’d known her, he had seen her so cold and confrontational and yet at other times she had been warm and funny
He felt, well he wasn’t sure what he felt, love was a strong word, a powerful feeling, was it love he felt, maybe
Looking up at the window of her bedroom, he knew he had to find out she was ok
Taking a deep breath he pushed the doors open and Jake entered the crowded pub

Chrissie having just returned from a trip to the shops lay back onto the sofa exhausted, she caught sight of the pale yellow shopping bag, she knew she had been stupid to buy it but when she saw it she couldn’t help herself, maybe now this made it real
Chrissie jumped as her mobile rang
Chrissie- hello…speaking…no 2.30 with Dr Leroy will be fine, yeah thanks see you in an hour…bye
She hung up and once again found her eyes lingering towards the shopping bag, Chrissie picked it up and pulled out a tiny white babygro, a warm glow rushed over her, this was it, this was her time, she was having his baby

Jake stood watching her as she stroked her tummy, he smiled as she sat chatting away to herself
Jake couldn’t find the words to speak, all he could do was watch her
Chrissie- I know your daddy would be here if he could but he can’t, he had to go away so for now it’s just you and me little one
A tear escaped and rolled down her pale cheek
Jake was unable to comprehend what she was saying, a baby, who’s baby, his baby, another man’s baby, a million thoughts whizzed through his head
Chrissie got up holding the babygro close to her and she stood by the window unaware that she had an audience, she watched the people go about their everyday business, shopping, cleaning the car, going to the launderette and here she was trying to come to terms with this life changing news
Chrissie brushed away another tear, she couldn’t lose it not now, not after everything, she had to hold it together for the baby’s sake if not for her own
Jake quietly pushed the door open and stepped inside the room
Chrissie swung round, neither could speak, there was no need for words
Chrissie ran into his arms, she clung to him as if she could never let go, her body dissolved into his, as he breathed in her familiar scent
As they pulled apart, Jake cupped her face in his hands and pulled her close, never taking his eyes off her, he kissed her
Chrissie was the first to pull away, Chrissie took his hands and placed them onto her tummy
At that moment all Jake’s questions were answered and a smile crept onto his face and as he smiled all Chrissie’s fears melted away

[hayley]

That was brilliant! it was certainly worth the wait!

[Tamzi]

That was so worth the wait. Glad Jake came back, very sweet
xxx

[Layne]

Wow that was fabby! Worth the wait, such a lovely ending! x