squillyfer
02-08-2005, 10:12
Hope you like it. I wrote this last night at nearly one in the morning while I too was suffering from sleep deprivation
Goodnight
Chrissie bolted the door of the Vic and shut away the outside world. She had done it again. She had managed another day pretending that everything was fine when it was anything but fine. She had once again remained calm and happy even though inside she was screaming from the agony of it all. She had survived another day without Jake.
As she dragged her body up the stairs and towards her bedroom she thought about him. She couldnt help it. Everything reminded her of him and the uncertainty of his whereabouts. She gazed at her bed as she undressed knowing that in a moment she would be lying alone in that bed while haunting memories of the night she shared it with him burned in her mind. The rustling noise of the crisp, white sheets seemed deafening in the silence and stillness of the night but Chrissie didnt care. She couldnt care. Her body and mind were wide awake but her heart had shut down from exhaustion.
Chrissie turned of the lamp and was blanketed in darkness. She cursed herself for feeling the way she did. It was nothing, just a bit of fun. But deep down Chrissie knew that yes it had been fun but it wasnt nothing, to Chrissie it was everything. All her life she had been afraid of being hurt but Jake made her feel save, he made her feel safe like no one had before. The few short hours they had spent together in her bed had been more magical for Chrissie than years of unwanted experience but it was obvious he didnt feel the same way.
The only news Chrissie had reieved regarding Jake was from Alfie and simply informed her that he was alive and well and far away from Walford. Far away from her.
When he had first left she had wanted nothing more than for him to call but now she thought it might be better if she never heard from him again. As much as it pained her to be apart from him she thought that if she didnt hear from him then she forget him and move on. Things would get better. But she couldnt forget him and things got steadily worse not better so now she lived on the philosophy that no news was good news.
She rolled onto her side and stared at the wall for a while before glancing at her watch. It was 10 past 12 so why couldnt she sleep? She did everything she could think of: She counted sheep, she memorised the number of ceiling tiles and closed her eyes in earnest but still she couldnt sleep. She couldnt for the life of her figure out why she couldnt sleep. It was late, her body ached and she had an early start in the morning so she should have been 'away with the fairies' as Den had once put it but hen her mind wanderde back to Jake and she knew why she couldnt sleep. What is the piont in sleeping when you have nothing to wake up to?
The phone rang causing Chrissie to jump and shaking he rout of her thoughts. She picked up the reciever and heald it to her ear. Although no one spoke immediatly she knew instantly who it was. His breathing was raspy and short as though he was scared or nervous. Chrissie gave an involuntary shudder as the hairs on the back of her neck tingled. Her mouth was dry and her throat felt tight as she spoke.
Chrissie: Hello Jake
Jake: Chris...Chrissie is that you?
Chrissie: Yeah its me.
The line had sounded lame even inside her head: of course it was her no one else that lived there was dumb enough to bother answering the phone at nearly one in the morning.
Jake: I kept meaning to call. I tried to lots of times. You know, I picked up the phone, put it down again, dialled the number then stopped at the last digit. I think part of me only had the courage to call tonight because I thought you wouldnt answer.
Chrissie smiled to herself.
Chrissie: I wish you had called...I...I miss you
The phone went quiet for a while and Chrissie mentally hit herself. Why had she told him that? She felt so stupid, so embarassed.
Jake: I miss you too...a lot
Chrissie: Really?
Jake: Really. I cant stop thinking about you. Infact thats the reason I rang. Im coming home. Im coming to see you.
Chrissie: You are? Why?
Jake: Because I've had enough of being Dannys babysitter. Things are bad this time. He's in prison. Theres nothing left for me here so I'm coming back.
Chrissie: When?
Jake: I'm getting the first train in about five hours.
Chrissie: I dont know what to say this is all so sudden. I mean you dont contact me for months and now youre coming back.
Jake: I know. Like I said I wanted to call I really did but I could never find the right words.
Chrissie: Well ok I forgive you but you better make it up to me.
Jake: Oh dont worry I will and thats a promise
Chrissie: Good. Right, so I'll see you in the morning then. I cant wait
Jake: I bet you cant
Chrissie: I mean it Jake
Jake: And I meant what I said about missing you
Chrissie: I know. Look you better go or you'll be tired and miss your train.
Jake: Wait! Chrissie...I love you. I'm sorry if I shouldnt but I do I cant help it and I just wanted you to know that. Right bye then.
Chrissie: Jake wait!! I...love you too and I cant help it either. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow we can talk more then. Bye Jake.
Jake: Wait! Chrissie... Goodnight.
Chrissie: Goodnight Jake.
Chrissie put the phone down and smiled to herself once more as she snuggled down into the covers and sleep finally claimed her. He loved her. She finally had something to wake up to.
Goodnight
Chrissie bolted the door of the Vic and shut away the outside world. She had done it again. She had managed another day pretending that everything was fine when it was anything but fine. She had once again remained calm and happy even though inside she was screaming from the agony of it all. She had survived another day without Jake.
As she dragged her body up the stairs and towards her bedroom she thought about him. She couldnt help it. Everything reminded her of him and the uncertainty of his whereabouts. She gazed at her bed as she undressed knowing that in a moment she would be lying alone in that bed while haunting memories of the night she shared it with him burned in her mind. The rustling noise of the crisp, white sheets seemed deafening in the silence and stillness of the night but Chrissie didnt care. She couldnt care. Her body and mind were wide awake but her heart had shut down from exhaustion.
Chrissie turned of the lamp and was blanketed in darkness. She cursed herself for feeling the way she did. It was nothing, just a bit of fun. But deep down Chrissie knew that yes it had been fun but it wasnt nothing, to Chrissie it was everything. All her life she had been afraid of being hurt but Jake made her feel save, he made her feel safe like no one had before. The few short hours they had spent together in her bed had been more magical for Chrissie than years of unwanted experience but it was obvious he didnt feel the same way.
The only news Chrissie had reieved regarding Jake was from Alfie and simply informed her that he was alive and well and far away from Walford. Far away from her.
When he had first left she had wanted nothing more than for him to call but now she thought it might be better if she never heard from him again. As much as it pained her to be apart from him she thought that if she didnt hear from him then she forget him and move on. Things would get better. But she couldnt forget him and things got steadily worse not better so now she lived on the philosophy that no news was good news.
She rolled onto her side and stared at the wall for a while before glancing at her watch. It was 10 past 12 so why couldnt she sleep? She did everything she could think of: She counted sheep, she memorised the number of ceiling tiles and closed her eyes in earnest but still she couldnt sleep. She couldnt for the life of her figure out why she couldnt sleep. It was late, her body ached and she had an early start in the morning so she should have been 'away with the fairies' as Den had once put it but hen her mind wanderde back to Jake and she knew why she couldnt sleep. What is the piont in sleeping when you have nothing to wake up to?
The phone rang causing Chrissie to jump and shaking he rout of her thoughts. She picked up the reciever and heald it to her ear. Although no one spoke immediatly she knew instantly who it was. His breathing was raspy and short as though he was scared or nervous. Chrissie gave an involuntary shudder as the hairs on the back of her neck tingled. Her mouth was dry and her throat felt tight as she spoke.
Chrissie: Hello Jake
Jake: Chris...Chrissie is that you?
Chrissie: Yeah its me.
The line had sounded lame even inside her head: of course it was her no one else that lived there was dumb enough to bother answering the phone at nearly one in the morning.
Jake: I kept meaning to call. I tried to lots of times. You know, I picked up the phone, put it down again, dialled the number then stopped at the last digit. I think part of me only had the courage to call tonight because I thought you wouldnt answer.
Chrissie smiled to herself.
Chrissie: I wish you had called...I...I miss you
The phone went quiet for a while and Chrissie mentally hit herself. Why had she told him that? She felt so stupid, so embarassed.
Jake: I miss you too...a lot
Chrissie: Really?
Jake: Really. I cant stop thinking about you. Infact thats the reason I rang. Im coming home. Im coming to see you.
Chrissie: You are? Why?
Jake: Because I've had enough of being Dannys babysitter. Things are bad this time. He's in prison. Theres nothing left for me here so I'm coming back.
Chrissie: When?
Jake: I'm getting the first train in about five hours.
Chrissie: I dont know what to say this is all so sudden. I mean you dont contact me for months and now youre coming back.
Jake: I know. Like I said I wanted to call I really did but I could never find the right words.
Chrissie: Well ok I forgive you but you better make it up to me.
Jake: Oh dont worry I will and thats a promise
Chrissie: Good. Right, so I'll see you in the morning then. I cant wait
Jake: I bet you cant
Chrissie: I mean it Jake
Jake: And I meant what I said about missing you
Chrissie: I know. Look you better go or you'll be tired and miss your train.
Jake: Wait! Chrissie...I love you. I'm sorry if I shouldnt but I do I cant help it and I just wanted you to know that. Right bye then.
Chrissie: Jake wait!! I...love you too and I cant help it either. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow we can talk more then. Bye Jake.
Jake: Wait! Chrissie... Goodnight.
Chrissie: Goodnight Jake.
Chrissie put the phone down and smiled to herself once more as she snuggled down into the covers and sleep finally claimed her. He loved her. She finally had something to wake up to.