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Rach33
17-07-2005, 10:38
Hi guys a one parter I wrote last night while I was babysitting so it's not brilliant but let me know what you think please :bow:

He lay down on the bed and closed his tired and worn eyes yet he did not sleep, his thoughts led him to miles away, where she was, where she had stayed

My life is brilliant, my love is pure, I saw an angel of that I’m sure she smiled at me on the subway she was with another man but I won’t lose no sleep on that cause I’ve got a plan
You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful it’s true, I saw your face in a crowded place and I don’t know what to do cause I’ll never be with you

Her beauty had haunted him for weeks, the tears she’d cried still felt fresh and the sadness and hurt in her eyes bore into him and now all he had was the deadly silence that gave him far too much time to think, think about what might have been, what could have been, what should have been
She had begged him and pleaded to him yet he already knew even then that there was no choice to be made, it had already been made for him
He lost his moment and he lost his girl

Yeah, she caught my eye as we walked on by, she could see from my face that I was *********g high and I don’t think that I’ll see her again but we shared a moment that will last till the end
You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful it’s true, I saw your face in a crowded place and I don’t know what to do cause I’ll never be with you

The first time he set eyes on her, he knew he wanted her who wouldn’t and he knew that despite the fact she was with another man he had to have her, he eventually took a chance and now he knew they’d never be together, he let her slip through his fingers but he’d never forget her, he couldn’t
He chased and chased her but for what exactly to lose her, to walk away, he let her go, he chose his brother over her, he chose this life over a life with her
Their final goodbye had broken him not at first it had happened slowly and now she filled his thoughts, she consumed him, her face haunted his dreams, she hid around every corner and turn even now when he knew it was over, he couldn’t let go, he couldn’t let her go

You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful it’s true, there must be an angel with a smile on her face when she thought up that I should be with you

Jake opened his eyes and sat up, sleeping wasn’t an option anymore, her face, her smile, she was perfect and she could have been his
He knew that he’d never see her again so he treasured and savoured all his memories and thoughts knowing they were all he had left
He looked across the dim lit room at his sleeping brother, Danny had no idea of the damage and carnage he had left him with but Jake could live with that he had no choice not anymore

But it’s time to face the truth I will never be with you

Lyrics - You're Beautiful by James Blunt taken from the album Back to Bedlam (which is brilliant)

Bad Wolf
17-07-2005, 10:40
its good....but i'm not sure you can reproduce song lyrics on a web page without permission and uncredited...?????

melonb
17-07-2005, 11:03
wow thats so sad!!! :crying: :cheer:

Tamzi
17-07-2005, 11:20
That was really good. I had a feeling it was about Jake. Yep, Danny has no idea what he destroyed. Brilliant. I love your one parters
xxx

Bad Wolf
17-07-2005, 11:25
its lovely.......and the james blunt album is brilliant too--- bit short tho!!

Rach33
17-07-2005, 11:30
The album is way too short Rach your right but fantastic I bought it yesterday

Bad Wolf
17-07-2005, 11:35
i got the Rob Thomas album at the same time- its also brilliant, but it gets to much like enriqe inglesias (big sp) at times, who i cant stand

Rach33
17-07-2005, 11:37
Got the Rob Thomas Album too which I agree is brillliant too and I can't stand Enrique either

Bad Wolf
17-07-2005, 11:40
i also been buying cheesy dance stuff and KT tunstall- probably why i have no money now!!

Rach33
17-07-2005, 11:42
ohhhhh I want KT Tunstall is it any good if it is I will buy it
I have a thing for some of the new dance tunes at the moment some of them are very catchy

Bad Wolf
17-07-2005, 11:47
its good- i would reccomend it

Rach33
17-07-2005, 11:49
thanks I will get it next week

Angeldelight
17-07-2005, 14:09
wow... WOW... WOW... well done.. it's brilliant... amazing... fantastic... i love all your stories... but i see you tried to sneak this one past me... hehe... didn't work... it's brialliant babes... why did he have to do it Rach? why did Jake have to leave? why did Danny set Johnny's house alight? why oh why...

Bad Wolf
17-07-2005, 14:15
dont worry angel----he is coming back!!!

Layne
17-07-2005, 15:01
Wow Rachel honey that was fab, i'm like intears, oh my god, i loved it wow!!!
Its like excaltly how jake would be feeling, and oh my god i love that song, james blunt tis amazing, i'm getting his album soon!
wow, i've said this before honey and i'll say it again, your one-parters are amazing!!!!!!!!!!
:cheer:

luv ya
Layne
x x x

di marco
18-07-2005, 08:40
fab! :D oh my, that was amazing! poor jakey! :) i love reading your 1 parters

Amber
20-07-2005, 19:57
Wow.. I'm on the verge of tears. I think you wrote that perfectly (when don't you write things perfectly?!?) Tis fab! I love your one parters :)