View Full Version : Desperate Housewives - Season 6 Episode Recaps
6.01
Holy cow! We bet good money that Mike's bride would be Susan, but we didn't figure on Katherine going completely cuckoo-for-coco puffs after being dumped. So cuckoo that she tries on Susan's wedding dress! And then hijacks the wedding to demand a public apology from Susan. Mike nicely asks Katherine to leave and she seems to come to her senses but Susan offers an apology anyway. Katherine hugs her with a smile, but whispers that it didn't help. Yipes! We doubt these two former best friends will be making up any time soon!
Bree is having second thoughts about her affair with Karl and rejects hotel after hotel as unsanitary. We can't say we're pro-adultery, but when it comes to cheating on Orson, we're willing to turn a blind eye! Especially when his comment to Bree that "a little guilt is a small price to pay for happiness," is just the motivation she needs to make that rendezvous with Karl. "I've booked the hotel," she tells Karl, and we laugh heartily when she adds, "I've already changed the sheets and cleaned the bathroom." Trust Bree to keep a down-and-dirty affair squeaky clean!
Now that Carlos has taken in his gorgeous niece, Ana, Gabrielle has her hands full trying to keep her boy-crazy, late-night-partying ways under control. Ana threatens to run away to fulfill her dream of becoming a model. We were sure Gaby would be thrilled to see her go, but instead she signs the papers making her Ana's legal guardian, saying, "I wish someone had been this mean to me when I was your age."
We laugh at how quickly Lynette brings another expectant mother to tears at the doctor's by telling her how her child will grow up to "hate you and steal from your purse." But we're not laughing when Lynette confesses to Tom that she doesn't love the twins she's carrying. He tries to reassure her that she'll feel differently once they're born, but we -- and Lynette -- remain unconvinced.
A new family moves to the block and we know they're anything but "nice and normal," as Angie Bolen wants her neighbors to think. Angie's back is horribly scarred and teenage son Danny is sullen and temperamental. We've already pegged Danny as this season's troublemaker, but when his father, Nick, comments that Julie, who's been tutoring Danny, is "way out of (Danny's) league," we' find it more than a little creepy.
We can't believe our eyes when when Julie is strangled by an unknown assailant, but we've already got a list of suspects: There's Danny, whom Karen witnessed arguing with Julie, and Katherine, who's got a whopper of a grudge against Susan. We do not envy the person who has to break the news to Susan!
We're totally caught up in Wisteria Lane 's biggest mystery yet: Who strangled Julie Mayer? Fortunately, she's not dead (We thought she was a goner. Whew!) but she is unconscious and unable to identify her attacker.
We're not at all surprised when suspicion immediately turns to Danny Bolen, the new kid in town, who was seen loudly arguing with Julie. He told his parents he was "out drinking" the night before and that his memory is "fuzzy." Angie persuades Ana, who's crushing hard on Danny, to lie that the two snuck out and got drunk together. Gabrielle forces Ana to tell the truth to the cops, who immediately take Danny into custody. We're sure this isn't the Bolens' first brush with the law when Angie advises Danny before the police swoop in, "How does a fish get caught?" and he replies, "By opening his mouth."
Lynette blurts out the next shocker: Julie's pregnant! Or might be. Lynette hasn't told anyone about her own pregnancy, not even her kids (she writes off her early morning sickness to bad clams), but when Julie found her crying in her yard, the two confided in each other, as Lynette now does to Susan.
We know Katherine's crazy, but is she crazy enough to attempt murder? We wonder when she finds Mike alone and tells him, "I'm here for you. Anytime." We're further disturbed when she tells Orson the marriage won't last. "Mike doesn't really love Susan. He just feel sorry for her. He'll be back."
Then again, we never thought we'd see the day when Bree and Karl would be shagging Karl on the sly! And loving it! Karl rushes from his tryst with Bree to Julie's bed at the hospital. They agree to cool the affair, given the circumstances, but immediately begin kissing, just as Julie opens her eyes! "Dad?" she asks and then is out again. We're encouraged that Julie's still got her wits about her, but we have to laugh at Bree and Karl's bad timing!
Hoping to sound Susan out about Karl, Bree points out how she and Katherine made up, despite both loving Mike. We wince when Susan's response is, "Rule number one of the female code: Never sleep with your friend's ex-husband." Bree jokes that it would be better if it were Karl and our heart sinks for her when Susan says that would be even worse, because if a friend knew how badly Karl hurt her and slept with him anyway, "I would never talk to her again."
Gaby and family run into her former lover, John, at a local restaurant, which he owns! Hearing that he's now divorced, Gaby starts to primp and Carlos accuses her of "still having the hots" for John. She denies it, but we later catch her gazing fondly at an old photo of John.
Susan is shocked to see that Bob's sprung Danny Bolen from jail. Bob tells her he's just doing his job and that there was no evidence against Danny, but Susan insists on announcing Danny's guilt to the entire street.
Karl asks Bree to go to Vegas for the weekend, but she turns him down, saying they're not in love and that Karl is just a "delightful diversion." But by the bitchy way she acts when she sees Karl with a hot young date we realize he means much more than that to her. Horrified that Karl and Candace are headed for "their" motor lodge, she comes up with a plan to eliminate her rival: When Candace is dancing with Orson, Bree spills salad oil on the floor, causing Candace to fall and break her nose. Orson mistakenly thinks the sabotage was because Candace was dancing with him! "A woman doesn't pull a stunt like that over a man she's not in love with," he tells her, which prompts Bree to call Karl and say yes to Vegas.
Lynette finally tells her kids that she's expecting twins, giving Preston the chance to deliver a role-reversal rebuke that has us in stitches: "I hope you're happy. You've destroyed both your futures for a few moments of pleasure." She's just about to tell Carlos when he stuns her by offering her the position of Senior VP, including a 50 percent pay bump! She convinces Tom to keep quiet about her pregnancy for now. She's immediately put to the test at a dinner with an important client, whose wine she can't refuse to drink. We admire Tom's quick solution: Through sleight-of-hand, he manages to drink all her wine for her, getting thoroughly drunk in the process.
When Angie insists to Nick they can't change their names and flee -- again -- we think that they must be running from something much worse that suspicion of murder. Like, say, the mob? Why else would they keep a loaded gun in the house, one Angie urges Danny to use if he needs it?
Lynette reminds Susan about how the whole town thought Porter was guilty of arson. "People can be wrong," she advises Susan, who insists, "I'm not wrong." When she spots Danny working under a car, she puts the pressure on him -- literally! -- by lowering the carjack. He insists he's innocent and Angie comes to his defense with a baseball bat. So Susan feels terrible when she hears that the police have cleared Danny of any wrongdoing. When she sees someone's thrown garbage all over the Bolens' yard, we're touched that she shows up with a garbage bag and wordlessly begins helping Angie clean up.
6.04 The-God-Why-Don't-You-Love-Me-Blues
We're happy when Katherine tells Bree she's in love, but when Bree exclaims, "I'm so glad you're finally over Mike," Katherine says still believes Mike come back to her! Bree orders Katherine to take some "sick leave." But Katherine shows up anyway to a client's wedding and flips out when she sees the cake is one she designed for her own wedding! "If I can't have it, nobody will," Katherine says as she makes a dive for the cake! We can't believe that Katherine shows up for work the next day as if nothing happened! Or that she's surprised when Bree fires her! Bree tries to be kind, but Katherine is furious.
Lynette's can't hide her new va-va voom cleavage now that she's pregnant. Carlos tells her he knows about her "secret," but we have to laugh when he assumes she's gotten implants! She has no choice but to show off her enhanced rack to reel in a couple of male clients, who are "putty in her hands."
Gaby tells John to leave her niece alone after Ana confesses she's in love with him. John admits he wanted to make Gaby jealous -- and that he wants her back! He doesn't believe she's happy with Carlos and kisses her, just as Ana walks in! Gaby is forced to tell Ana the truth about her affair with John, but swears it's all in the past. She begs Ana not to say anything to Carlos, so Ana says only that she's quitting her job. We believe Gaby means it when she says she's happy with her life when we see she's sent John a picture of the two of them, cut in half.
Andrew shows up with flowers for Julie and some shocking news for Susan! Julie quit med school six months ago! Seeing how angry Susan is, Andrew whispers to Julie, "You are so lucky you're in a coma right now." She presses Andrew for the name of Julie's boyfriend, but all he knows is that the guy was married! Susan digs into Julie's journal for answers but finds only references to a man named "D."
We're happy to hear that Julie's woken up (although she remembers nothing about the attack), but we know Susan's going to give her the third degree, despite the doctor's orders to let her rest. Sure enough, Susan starts in right away: "Just so you know, you're not pregnant," she says as we stifle guffaws. "I could tell your boyfriend that you're better. Unless you think he strangled you because he's married." Subtle!
Danny wants to drop out of school since "everybody thinks I'm the perv who attacked Julie." Angie's solution: Bribe Preston to throw Danny a big party. The bash is going well, but Danny asks his dad why he's talking up two teenage girls. He tells Nick, "I know," and they have a very intense stare-off until Angie interrupts them and leads Nick away.
Julie swears that "D" didn't attack her and she's not seeing him anymore. Susan tells her she's disappointed in her: "You know what an affair like this can do. You saw it firsthand."
After Susan leaves, we see a man go in to visit Julie and why are we not more shocked to learn that it's Nick? And that his real name is Dominick? He's "D!" "I miss you," he tells a sleeping Julie. Aha, we knew not to trust that guy!
tammyy2j
19-10-2009, 11:09
On Sunday's episode of Desperate Housewives, Bree came to an increasingly irrational Katherine's aid when it became clear that she's still not over Mike. John Rowland (guest star Jesse Metcalfe) cozied up to Ana, but not for the reason that you might think. Lynette adjusted to some of the physical effects of her pregnancy. Angie threw a party for Danny. And we learned more about Julie's secrets — including the identity of her married lover.
KATHERINE and BREE
Katherine is totally losing her grip, which is probably good news for Dana Delany (fun acting!) and bad news for the character (illogical story!). She tells Bree that she's still in love with Mike, and she's still got the same crazy eyes she showed Orson. She repeats that she's just waiting for Susan and Mike's marriage to crash and burn. Bree is concerned, but she has some hot hotel sex with Karl waiting, so she shrugs it off.
But when Bree catches Katherine peeping in Susan and Mike's windows that night, she decides to put her on sick leave for three weeks to get some help. "I'm not sick," Katherine protests. "Yes, you are," Bree responds firmly, and there's no room for discussion.
Then Katherine shows up at a last-minute wedding that she and Bree were planning, and she's pretty pitiful. She says her friendship with Bree is just about the only thing she hasn't lost in the last few weeks, so she is going to make an effort to snap out of it. But then she sees the cake, which Bree made for the happy couple from a design of Katherine's she found lying around. But — oops! — it's the cake that Katherine designed for her wedding to Mike. "I watched another bride marry my fiancé; I am not going to watch another bride eat my cake," she says with excellent crazy eyes, and lunges for the cake. A scuffle ensues, and it ends with a crash.
The next day, Katherine pretends like nothing has happened. Bree sees no choice but to fire her. Katherine sees this as a betrayal, and when Bree asks her for her keys to the test kitchen, Katherine drags them across Bree's car before relinquishing them. "You wouldn't know to look at it, but the lady next door is having a nervous breakdown," Mary Alice says in voiceover.
LYNETTE
Now that Lynette is pregs, "the Supremes" are back — which is what Tom calls her enlarged breasts. Her coworkers also notice lasciviously and assume she's had plastic surgery. Carlos tells Lynette that he knows about her little secret. "You know about the twins?" she asks. Heh. Once Lynette catches on that he's talking about her breasts, she declines to set him straight, relieved that he doesn't know that she's pregnant.
I thought this story line might take a sexist turn, and indeed it does. Carlos tells Lynette that their new prospective clients think she has a nice rack, so can she maybe, you know, show off the girls a little over dinner? Lynette, naturally, is offended, but again, in order to conceal the truth, she goes along with it. Carlos even offers to buy her a new dress on the company. "A man just gave me a credit card because of my boobs. That makes me feel less like a hooker," she observes drily.
And it gets worse. When she shows up to dinner in a knockout blue dress, she thinks she might keep her jacket on since it's cold. "It's not cold, and even if it was, even more reason you should take the jacket off," Carlos says to his employee.
Fortunately, Lynette embraces the power of her new look. She likes the attention she got at the restaurant and she closed the deal. At home, she questions Tom about why men like big breasts, and why then did he marry her? He says that even though he likes big breasts, he's glad she doesn't (normally) have them. Because he needs her to have that one flaw, so it's OK that he has so many. Aw?
GABY
After a particularly tough day taking care of her "demon-spawn children," the cherry on the sundae of her day is the sight of John giving Ana a ride home. This story line is strange and funny material for Eva Longoria to play, part protective mother and part jealous lover. But for now, she's nailing it.
Speaking of nailing, Juanita and Celia find a box of condoms under Ana's bed. Gaby naturally assumes that she's sleeping with John, but she's not... yet. She tells Gaby that she loves him, and since Gaby can't tell her the truth, she hauls out the old "you're too young" speech.
Then she goes to see John in hopes of convincing him to stay away from Ana. He says he was just flirting with Ana to see if Gaby still cared, and he thinks that her actions demonstrate that she does. Now that he has money and is an adult, he wants to rescue Gaby from her humdrum suburban life. He seals his offer with a kiss, just in time for Ana to walk in and catch them. Uh-oh.
Ana threatens to tell Carlos, so Gaby has no choice but to tell her the truth about her history with John. It turns out that Ana also caught Gaby gazing longingly at those pictures she hid in her scrapbook. But rather than make up some story, Gaby tells the truth (I know, weird): She says that sometimes, particularly after a bad day, she looks at those pictures and thinks about what could have been, but that she loves Carlos and their life together and wouldn't do anything to change it. It works because when Carlos gets home, Ana has an announcement, but it's just that she wants to quit her job.
In the end, Gaby tears the photos in half and delivers them to John. When Carlos gets home from his dinner with his "hooker" Lynette, Gaby delivers a nice speech that starts by recounting what a crappy day she had and ends by reaffirming how genuinely happy she is.
ANGIE
Danny is thinking about quitting school. "Our family's been in this country for five generations; it's time one of us got a diploma," Angie cracks. He says everyone on campus hates him because they think he attacked Julie. "When he gets unhappy, he gets sloppy," Angie tells Nick after Danny storms off. "He says all sorts of things he shouldn't." Ominous.
Later, Angie corners Porter and bribes him into planning a party for Danny so he can make new friends, maybe meet a cute girl. Angie buys new clothes for herself and her son for the party. As she models her purchase, Danny sees the scars on her back and asks why she hasn't had them removed, and why his dad is buying expensive new golf clubs. "After the explosion, I was in bad shape," Angie reveals. "Your father took real good care of me. He hung in there. He's a real good man, don't you forget that." (Explosion?) Danny promises that one day he's going to make a lot of money so she can have the surgery. "No matter what happens, I'm going to take care of you," he says creepily.
Once the beer is flowing at the party, Porter and Danny become fast friends. Plus, Mr. and Mrs. Bolen have apparently been issued a copy of the Wisteria Lane Parenting Handbook because they're there too, for a little while anyway. When Danny sees his dad chatting up some of his female classmates, he confronts him. Nick doesn't think he deserves the attitude he's getting from his son of late, but Danny begs to differ. "I know," Danny says significantly. But we don't find out what he knows because Angie interrupts and drags Nick away just in time from the underage fete.
SUSAN
Andrew is back! He's at the hospital bringing Julie flowers, and Susan exposits that she's so glad that he and Julie stayed friends all these years. Andrew lets it slip that Julie quit medical school six months ago (wait, Julie was in medical school?) and got a job waiting tables. Oh, also: She's dating a married man.
Susan rifles through Julie's things and finds her journal and discovers that Julie never mentions the married man by name; she only refers to him as "D." But no matter! Julie wakes up from her coma (convenient!), so she can ask her herself. The doctor tells Susan that Julie is really tired, so she shouldn't ask any questions. But this is Susan we're talking about, so she tells Julie that she's not pregnant and hints that she knows that she was dating a married man. The normally chipper Julie is tight-lipped, and sends her mother away.
The next day, Susan pleads with Julie to tell her who she was seeing, so the police can talk to him. Julie refuses, saying that she broke it off with him and that she doesn't want to ruin things for him and his family. This enrages Susan, mostly because she thinks Julie should know better than to date a married man, since she saw firsthand what infidelity can do to a marriage. "I'm not perfect anymore," she says.
And how! In the episode's final scene, we see Susan leaving Julie's hospital room and another mystery visitor arrive. In a slow reveal, we see what many of you suspected: It's Nick Bolen, who also apparently goes by Dominic, hence the "D." in Julie's journal.
We know Gaby has a relaxed approach to parenting, but we're still shocked when another woman calls her a "lousy mother" to her face! The other moms snub her, so she lures the neighborhood children to Juanita's birthday party with promises of big attractions like a clown, a bouncy house, even a monkey! The party is a smash, but then the monkey goes ape and attacks the clown! Gaby laments, "I am a terrible mom," but Carlos points out that their girls didn't panic like the other kids. "They are independent and resourceful, and that is thanks to your negligence," he says reassuringly.
Lynette hires Roy as a handyman as a favor to Karen, but is irked when Roy defers only to Tom. Our jaws drop open along with Lynette's when Roy says, "Just because you enjoy crunching (your husband's) walnuts doesn't mean I do!" We get some good insight into why the Scavo marriage has lasted as long as it has: Tom tells Roy that Lynette's upbringing (no dad, alcoholic mom) left her a bit of a control junkie. "She can control me. If I let her, because it makes her feel safe." Awww!
Bree is offended by a judgmental motel maid who's witnessed her meetings with Karl. We wouldn't have guessed that the maid had her own scandalous affair! "Enjoy it while it lasts," she advises Bree, "because it doesn't last long." Bree swears that her affair won't end the same way. After Karl arrives, Bree glances at the Bible in the hotel nightstand, but closes the drawer to kiss Karl instead. We see she's made her choice!
Julie's home from the hospital, but refuses to talk to Nick, saying only, "It's over. " We find out Danny's fight with Julie was over her having a boyfriend, which Danny now knows his own father! But Julie has no clue he knows about the affair when she tells Danny that the attacker couldn't have been her boyfriend: "He's not that kind of guy." Danny offers her something to help her sleep: The family gun!
Bree tells her friends she had to fire Katherine, adding, "I think she needs help," but Susan admits she can't feel sorry for Katherine after the way she crashed her wedding. And she's outraged to hear that Katherine hit on Mike, which Mike never mentioned. Things come to a head at a neighborhood watch meeting after Susan ignores Katherine when she tries to volunteer, escalating into Susan publicly threatening Katherine if she doesn't leave her and Mike alone.
That night, Julie hears someone outside and responds, gun in hand! Susan takes the gun and, startled, fires out the window. We don't know whether to laugh or cringe when we see she's shot Katherine (a mere shoulder graze), who's appointed herself to the neighborhood watch after all.
Nick panics when he learns that Danny lent her the gun, since it's registered under their real name! " We're impressed with how well Angie handles it: She talks Katherine out of calling the police by telling her, "Mike's still crazy about you," and that by staying quiet, she'll look like a "saint" while Susan looks like a "monster."
We cringe when Juanita utters the f-word during a school play, but we cringe even harder at Gaby's overreaction to the proposed punishment: She curses out the principal and yanks Juanita out of the "crappy" school. But now Gaby has no choice but to home school Juanita, which goes as badly as we would have guessed. Juanita misses her friends and we wince after she doesn't answer when Gaby asks, "You still think I'm a good mom, right?"
Lynette is appalled to learn that Tom cheated on a test at school, but he insists, "There are times in life when you need to break the rules to survive." We're worried when he admits he might flunk out. He points out that she can't take the moral high ground since she's continued to lie about being pregnant, knowing that if Carlos finds out, she could lose her job. "You're no better than I am," he tells her.
Bree is about to break up with Karl, until he tells her he loves her and presents her with a broach that belonged to his grandmother. She wears it over to Susan's, and we groan when Susan immediately recognizes it. Bree insists on giving it back, saying pointedly in front of Karl, "I couldn't possibly wear it, knowing that Karl gave it to you." She lies that she found it at a nearby antique shop and that it was a "steal." She goes to break it off with Karl for good and we can't believe it when he gets on his knees and proposes! She's got issues with his ethics (we can't blame her), but he promises he'd be a better man as her husband. She agrees to keep the proposal pending, if he can get her that divorce she so badly wants. Things may be coming to a head soon: Orson goes to buy Bree a replacement broach but finds that the antique store where she supposedly bought the first one doesn't sell jewelry.
Katherine blackmails Susan and Mike into being friends by threatening to sue over Susan's having shot her. But the temporary truce falls apart after Katherine calls Mike to fix a leak and Susan, who rightly doesn't trust Katherine, finds her bedroom filled with lit candles, roses and champagne for two! We should have seen it coming that the two rivals would end up falling into the bubble bath! A dripping Susan emerges, telling Mike, "FYI, we hate her again."
Katherine is also a thorn in Angie's side: Angie tells her she's sad because it's the anniversary of her mother's death, but then Katherine overhears her talking to "Ma" on the phone. Angie lies that she was talking to her mother-in-law, but the secrecy and the fact that Angie was speaking Italian to her mother reinforce our theory that the "Bolens" are in witness protection. Realizing that Katherine's gotten far too nosy, Angie plants the idea with Susan that it was Katherine who attacked Julie!
When Lynette catches Julie arguing with Nick, Julie is forced to admit that Nick was the guy she was seeing. Lynette swears, "I will handle this," and promises not to tell Susan, but we know Lynette's going to find a way around that!
Susan, meanwhile, is at the police station to get them to investigate Katherine as a suspect, but they're unconvinced. "Is there anyone here who understands a woman can be a psycho killer too?" Susan asks and Denise, a female detective, promises to look into the case. Susan is relieved, but what she doesn't know is that Denise went to high school with her and still holds a grudge against her!
Carlos offers to get Gaby some help by hiring a housekeeper, but she'd rather have a tutor. "You'd rather scrub toilets than teach your daughter?" "At least the toilets won't talk back," says Gaby, who cannot get Juanita to listen to her. Luckily, the new housekeeper is a whiz at fractions: She's a Romanian refugee with a PhD! Gaby's got her tutor after all! But when the house remains uncleaned, Carlos hires a different cleaning lady without telling her. Now Gaby has no choice but to talk Ivana into tutoring, and to do her cleaning for her! Carlos finds out and Gaby admits she makes a lousy teacher. We're glad Carlos finally agrees!
The Bolens invite Bree and Orson over for dinner, which turns out to be a ploy to get Bree to hire Angie. Orson loves her food, but Bree insists, "We're not hiring." When she has an Italian client who needs dinner for 500, though, she offers them Angie's menu. We wish Bree would just ask Angie to help her out, but instead tricks her into handing over the recipes for a "friend." Of course, Angie finds her making the recipes in huge batches and calls Bree, rightly, "A two-faced condescending bitch." Bree returns to apologize and to beg for her help when she can't master the Italian menu. First Angie wants to know why she didn't want to hire her. Bree admits that Angie's candor makes her uncomfortable. "Not everyone's marriage is as perfect as yours, Nancy Reagan," snaps Angie and Bree reveals that her marriage with Orson is in name only. "You think I'm vulgar and I think you're a tightass, but you need help and I need a job," says Angie and they begin to cook.
Lynette warns Nick to leave Julie alone. We wonder again if Nick was the strangler when he grabs Lynette's arm and tells her that if she mentions the affair to anyone, "You're the one who's going to be sorry." Lynette's right there with us: she tells Tom, "I think I know who strangled Julie." Julie insists it couldn't have been Nick, but they still go to the police and inform them of the affair. When the police call for Nick's alibi, Angie tells Nick she's known for weeks about the affair. We thought as much! But we wonder why she lies that Nick was with her the entire night. Does Angie need an alibi of her own?
Susan finally recognizes Denise as "Moose" a plain girl that hated her for stealing her boyfriend. "Oh my God, I sent her over there, it's like a meeting of the 'I hate Susan club.'" Sure enough, when she sees Denise leave Katherine's there's no arrest, instead the two women hug! Denise informs Susan that Katherine has an alibi: She was on the phone with her daughter and the phone records prove it. We can't believe it when Susan is the one Denise arrest, for not reporting having shot Katherine!
For having shot Katherine, Susan is sentenced to community service. When Katherine stops by to gloat, and throws her drink for Susan to pick up, Susan gets her busted for littering. We're so glad the drama seems to behind them when Katherine finally says, "It's time to admit defeat. the man I love chose you. " Hallelujah! But then she cries that she'll never find a man who'll make love to her five times a day and Susan freaks out that Mike's never done that with her! She starts ambushing Mike at every opportunity, until he finally begs for a break. "Katherine turns you on and sex with me is a chore," she sobs, so Mike sets her straight: He and Katherine only hit that record because they were snowed in at his cabin. "Sex was all we ever had," he tells Susan. "You and I have everything."
Lynette is waiting to tell Carlos about her pregnancy until after she closes a huge deal to open a branch in Florida. The deal done, she's confident she can take maternity leave with the capable Terrence to take her place. But then Carlos wants to send Terrence to run the Florida office! Gaby's behind the suggestion: Terrence has a child in second grade at the local Catholic school and if he moves, the slot will open up for Juanita! Lynette has Terrence and his wife over for dinner to "celebrate," but really to talk him out of moving. She and Tom successfully talk him out of moving, but now Gaby wants her to talk him back into it. She catches Lynette at home, minus her oversized clothes, and realizes she's pregnant. Lynette begs Gaby not to tell Carlos, but we know that's not gonna happen. The next day, Carlos offers Lynette the Florida position, saying, "I'm not firing you Lynette, I'm offering you a promotion." The only option he's left her with is quitting!
Julie bumps into Angie at the local coffee shop and attempts to engage in small talk. We have to hand it to Angie for being direct: "I know you slept with my husband. So I'm thinking we're past the chit-chat stage." Along with Angie, we wonder why Nick is spending so much time at the coffee shop: Is it because of the pretty young waitress? When the waitress gets attacked after hours we're not sure who we suspect more: Nick, because she overheard him talking to an Agent Padilla about possibly "coming in," or Angie, for messing with her man!
Orson confides in Angie that he thinks Bree has taken a lover, a notion so ludicrous that Angie immediately shares it with Bree for a laugh. But when she sees how rattled Bree is, she realizes it's no joke. Orson is going out of town asks Angie to "keep an eye" on Bree for him, which she flatly refuses. But Angie notices Karl show up at Bree's! Her loyalties lie with Bree, however: She calls to warn her that Orson is on his way back! And lies that she was the one sharing a bottle of wine with Bree, not some mystery man.
We can't forget, however, that Orson promised "do something stupid," if he ever finds out that Bree is cheating on him. And we wonder whom Bree will choose in the end: Karl is passionate but crass, but then again, Orson appreciates opera!
The strangulation murder of a waitress leads everyone to suspect that Julie's unknown attacker is responsible. We catch a glimpse of the killer, or at least, his brown loafers, and we try to figure out if we've ever seen those shoes before.
Lynette is sure that Carlos isn't serious about relocating her to Florida, not until the staff throws her a "Bon Voyage" party and he gives her old office away. "We have an opening for you in our Florida office, but here your job's already been given to Tim," Carlos tells her, adding, "I guess this gives you no choice but to quit."
Lynette begs Gaby to talk to Carlos but Gaby refuses. But later that night, Gaby talks Carlos into forgiving Lynette, just as Lynette decides to sue Carlos for all he's worth! The next day, Gaby shows up with flowers as a peace offering, but we cringe when Lynette's lawyer pulls up with notice of the lawsuit at the same moment.
Carlos next move is to give Lynette an impossible assignment he demands be ready by 9 a.m. the next day. She's an hour late with completing her task, so Carlos, with his lawyer by his side, orders her to clear out her desk. Lynette promises, "I will not go quietly." And we wince when he tells her, "I don't care how you go. I just want you gone."
Julie tells Susan Nick can't have attacked her, especially since he wanted to get back together afterward! So when Julie and her father switch cars for safety's sake, Susan assumes that it's Julie meeting Nick at a hotel, not Karl meeting Bree, as Susan discovers to her horror.
At their first self-defense class, Susan waits until she has Bree in a chokehold to tell her she knows her and about Karl. "Feels bad, huh, being betrayed by someone you trusted," Susan whispers. But after Bree confesses that she loves Karl, Susan gives them her blessing. But first she has to ask, "Are you drinking again?"
Danny tells Julie he wants to be with her, even though he knows about her affair with his father. We're alarmed when he doesn't see why that would be weird, and moreso when tells her, "I forgive you." Julie turns him down flat and we can't believe it when Danny tries to kill himself! Or when he tells the nurse that his name isn't Danny, but Tyler.
Meanwhile, Nick confesses to Angie that he the waitress's last customer before she was killed. He wants to leave town, but Angie insists they're staying put. "After 18 years of being a ghost," she tells him, she finally feels she belongs somewhere. She refuses to make a deal with the feds, swearing, "I killed a man. They'll be ready to make a deal when I've got a needle in my arm."
Mike is furious when Katherine tells MJ that Susan is a "bad person" for stealing his father. We've kind of scared of Mike when he tells her, "You've never really seen me get angry, but if you want to, just talk to my son one more time. Then you'll see what I'm capable of."
The next day, Mike freaks out when Katherine picks up MJ from soccer practice. He orders MJ to go home, then tells Katherine, that he never loved her. "The whole time I was with you, all I was thinking was, God I wish you were Susan." She hands him a knife and tells him, "Please kill me. It would be less painful." We gasp when Mike replies, "I don't care enough about you to kill you." And we're reeling when Katherine calls 911, claiming she's "bleeding badly," then stabs herself off-camera!
Katherine is wheeled out of her house on a stretcher -- and points to Mike as her assailant! We totally saw this coming!
At the hospital, a clever nurse, Mona, concludes that since the Bolens have no insurance, want to pay cash, and Danny has more than one name, "You're in the Witness Protection Program!" Angie nods and says, "You're one sharp cookie."
Armed with photos of Orson "consorting" with a fellow ex-con, Bree serves him with divorce papers. "If you send me to jail for fraud, you're going with me," she promises. We actually feel a little sad for Orson when he tells her he was only bluffing and that he'll move out right away. He realizes she's already got someone on the side and she promises not to go public with the relationship until they're divored. "What a tasteful solution. You must write an etiquette book for adulturers," he says.
Susan tries to get Katherine to admit she stabbed herself, saying, "We both know that Mike didn't do this." But Katherine smiles and tells her, "I've got seven stitches and a knife with Mike's fingerprints that say otherwise." Susan hits on another way to prove Katherine's lying: She calls her daughter Dylan because, as Bob tells her, only a family member can get someone committed. When Dylan shows up, we're shocked to hear that Katherine's told her she's the one married to Mike! Susan sets her straight by showing Dylan her wedding album. Dylan asks her mother to tell the police that Mike is innocent. We're horrified (but kind of relieved) when Katherine has a spectacular freakout. Looks like that commitment is a done deal!
The Scavos are panicking over money: Lynette's lost her job and the college won't refund Tom's tuition! Tom hopes they'll win the lawsuit, but Lynette groans, "Won't that be great? Living off the money we made from suing our best friends." She tries to apologize to Gaby, but Gaby won't hear her out. They can't even get through one carol at their annual holiday gathering before they start ripping off each other's Santa hats!
Meanwhile, Karl shows up to tell Bree to get ready for his surprise -- a plane flying over the holiday celebration with a banner asking her to marry him! Bree, understandably, is furious, but it's too late to cancel the flight -- the pilot's in the air and he's just had a heart attack! His wife, who can't fly, is headed right for them! Bree goes to tell Orson the truth about Karl, but Karl insists he should be the one to break it to Orson. A full-fledged fight breaks out between the three of them in Santa's workshop.
Mona gives Danny a ride home and comments that she knows all about his situation. Danny misunderstands and tells her the truth -- that his mother is wanted for murder! Dana demands $67,000 from the Bolens, or she'll go to the police. How extremely convenient, then, that the first person killed by the out-of-control plane is Mona! We gasp as Celia stands to get hit next, but breathe a sigh of relief as Lynette sweeps her to safety. And we shudder when we spy a bloodied hand in the wreckage of the workshop, but we don't know whose it is!
6:11 If
We're glad Bree's okay, but we wait to hear the fate of Karl and Orson, who were both badly injured in the plane crash.
While Karl's in surgery, Susan wonders what her life would be like if she hadn't told him to leave. In her vision, she ends up miserable and overweight and Karl ends up leaving anyway. "You could have just spared yourself all this pain if you'd just let me go the first time," he tells her. "You really do deserve better." We see her mixed emotions when the doctor tells her Karl didn't make it. Awww, we loved Karl! Even if he did make the world's worst husband, we'll miss his naughty zest for life.
When Bree learns of Karl's death, she she has to be sedated and she dreams what her life would have been like if he hadn't died. He promises her he'll be a different man, but she says, "I don't want to ever lose that sexy beast who swept me off my feet." Which means that she finds Karl in bed another woman and kicks him out. Years later, she gets a call when Orson dies. She's overcome with emotion when she sees all the photos of the two of them. His landlady tells her, "It was like he died of a broken heart." So when she is told that Orson is "out of danger," she is relieved. But she doesn't know how to react when she learns that Orson is paralyzed.
Angie can't believe that Mona, her blackmailer, wasn't killed by the plane. Angie imagines what would happen if Mona lives to tell what she knows: She's in FBI custody and they want her to give up someone named Patrick Logan, who was her lover. Angie hasn't spoken to Logan since that night 18 years ago. "You guys weren't the ones I was running from," she tells the agent, saying they have no idea how scary Logan is. In her daydream, she's given a life sentence, so she's beyond relieved when she's told that Mona is dead.
Gabrielle thinks that Celia, who only has a mild concussion, has been saved to fulfill some great destiny. She drifts off to sleep and imagines what it would be like if Celia started acting. Except in her dream, Celia's lack of talent doesn't stop Gaby from being a relentless stage mother and driving Carlos away. Gaby ends up a scary old lady on food stamps who's still trying to push Celia into stardom. "I figured out what she has to do to be special," she tells Carlos on waking. "Absolutely nothing."
Lynette seems fine, but one of the twins was injured and needs to be operated on immediately. Lynette imagines what it would be like if he was born disabled. At first she just can't cope, but then, even though it's incredibly hard, she teaches him to do things for himself. As valedictorian of his law school, he thanks her for her courage. When she wakes, she's sure she can handle the challenge, but she's not prepared to hear that, while the other twin is fine, they've lost him.
Gabrielle comes to visit her and says, "I don't know how to say thank you for saving my child's life and how sorry I am." We're so happy to see that these two have made up, even if the circumstances are so tragic.
Karl leaves an interest in a strip club to Susan and she's astonished to find that Mike is a regular customer! Even thought he's only there to work on the plumbing, she forbids him from ever going back. He bristles at being told what to do, so Susan decides to do her own strip routine after summoning Mike to the club for a bogus job. When he sees other men trying to slip dollars into her bra, he gets her point.
Gabrielle and Carlos can't thank Lynette enough for saving Celia's life. Since they're going to keep paying Lynette her salary until after she has the baby, Tom suggests that he fill in for Lynette. We're not surprised that Lynette hates the idea. She is even more upset when Tom does a spectacular job and when she learns that he expects her to stay home with the baby when it comes. Tom, poor guy, honestly thought that's what she'd want because they'd lost the other twin. He tries to get her to talk about their loss but she says that just make things worse. We feel sorry for both of them when he drops the subject and agrees to step down when she's ready to go back to work.
Bree is trying to atone for her sins, so her priest tells her to take Orson back in, now that he's paralyzed. Orson's response: "I'd rather be helped by a flatulent helper monkey." Bree whisks Orson back home anyway. He refuses to talk to her at first but then he realizes he can get his revenge by making her wait on him hand and foot. We predict Bree will snap at some point, but for now she's got no choice.
Julie plans to leave town. "Until they catch the guy who attacked me, I just don't feel safe here," she tells Danny. She asks Danny about his suicide attempt and he assures her, "I'm better now." Ana convinces her she's serious about Danny, so Julie helps try to get them together. Danny shows no interest until Ana bluntly refers to his overdose as a "stupid stunt." He tells her he likes her better when she's blunt.
Gabrielle is thrilled when Juanita is accepted into the prestigious private school where Susan works. The director says he's happy to have a Mexican student, but we have to laugh when Juanita blurts out, 'I'm Mexican? So we're like those people who sell oranges on the side of the road?" Carlos decides it's time to instill some ethnic pride and votes for Juanita to go to a public school with more Latinos. Gaby doesn't want her going to school with "those people" and Carlos accuses Gabrielle of being ashamed of Mexican. She admits that, because of her upbringing, she equated being Mexican with being poor. "I just don't my kids to ever know I lived like that." As they gaze at a photo of her with her proud papa, Carlos tells her, "Whatever dreams my kids achieve, they should know it started on the shoulders of a strong, proud, Mexican man."
6:13 How about a friendly shrink
When he learns that Bob and Lee are seeing a counselor, Tom suggests that they see one also but Lynette thinks therapy is for losers. Tom starts seeing their therapist on his own, including keeping a "feelings" journal. He won't let Lynette read it, but says she should join him in therapy. Instead, she shows up at the doctor's to defend herself from what she's sure is Tom's badmouthing. She admits that she likes to be in control and when she's not, she gets mad. "Maybe I'm mad a lot, but you can't control what happens in life." We're relieved when Lynette decides therapy might be a good thing for her too.
Orson continues to order Bree around at his whim and refuses to let her give him a bath. She finally tells him to at least say please before she gives him his breakfast. He refuses, so she puts his waffles on a shelf he can't reach. When the physical therapist arrives, he pretends to be starving and abused. The therapist tells Bree to be more patient and if not, she'll have to report her. Oh, and to give Orson a bath. When Orson still refuses to say please, she gives him a shower outside with the garden hose, until he begs her, "Please, stop." He admits it's hard to ask for help. She gets down on her knees and says, "I'm so sorry. Forgive me."
When Juanita starts at Oakridge, Susan and Gaby get into a competition to see which of their kids is in the most advanced group. Gaby won't rest until she deducts that the Leopards, Juanita's group, are actually advanced and Susan is crushed to hear that M.J.'s in the slow Giraffe group. She tells another teacher that Gaby broke the code and the word soon travels through the school. While they wait to see the principal, they admit they both got carried away and confess their fears that they're letting their children down.
Orson continues to order Bree around at his whim and refuses to let her give him a bath. She finally tells him to at least say please before she gives him his breakfast. He refuses, so she puts his waffles on a shelf he can't reach. When the physical therapist arrives, he pretends to be starving and abused. The therapist tells Bree to be more patient and if not, she'll have to report her. Oh, and to give Orson a bath. When Orson still refuses to say please, she gives him a shower outside with the garden hose, until he begs her, "Please, stop." He admits it's hard to ask for help. She gets down on her knees and says, "I'm so sorry. Forgive me."
When Juanita starts at Oakridge, Susan and Gaby get into a competition to see which of their kids is in the most advanced group. Gaby won't rest until she deducts that the Leopards, Juanita's group, are actually advanced and Susan is crushed to hear that M.J.'s in the slow Giraffe group. She tells another teacher that Gaby broke the code and the word soon travels through the school. While they wait to see the principal, they admit they both got carried away and confess their fears that they're letting their children down.
6:14 The Glamourous Life
Lynette doesn't like that Dr. Graham always sides with Tom. Tom convinces her to attend a play the doctor is in. She's terrible, which Lynette doesn't mind telling her, but Tom lies and says she was "Great." Surprisingly, this leads to a huge breakthrough when Tom admits he likes to be the good cop, forcing Lynette to always be the bad cop. After Tom admits he hated the play too, the therapist orders them both out.
Bree is puzzled by Orson's newfound tranquility, until she finds his suicide letter! She vows to watch him 24 hours a day and we have to laugh when he replies, "Being bored to death wasn't how I was planning to go, but we can try it your way."
Angie and Gaby clash over Ana and Danny. Angie convinces Gaby that it's time for a safe sex talk, but when Carlos sees Gaby's bought condoms for Ana, he threatens to kill Danny. "Isn't it better to be safe than sorry?" Gaby asks. He tells her that if Ana gets pregnant, she'll be the one taking care of the baby. "She's your trampy niece," Gaby yells after him.
Gaby writes Ana an unsigned check, which she'll sign if Ana graduates high school without having had sex: "I could talk to you about saving yourself for marriage, but I think you're the kind of girl who responds to cold hard cash." But as Ana sees it, her promise not to have sex doesn't include Danny. Carlos catches Danny with Ana and threatens to kill him. Angie barges in and shouts, "You ever touch him again, you're dead." The Solises come over the next night to apologize and overhear Nick scolding Angie that soon the truth about them will come out. We can't blame Gaby for eyeing the Bolens with a new wariness.
Susan tells Robin, a stripper at Double D's, that it's never too late to change your life, so she quits! And shows up at her house the next day saying,. "You're my role model," Robin tells her. "What do I do know?" Now Susan feels responsible for her, so she hires Robin as her assistant at school. Naturally, one of the students' fathers recognizes her and she's fired on the spot. Susan talks Mike into letting Robin move in until she finds a job.
Orson dares Bree to say she loves him and she can't do it. She forces him to attend an anniversary celebration for an elderly couple and leaves him momentarily by the pool. She sees him about to wheel himself in and she runs to stop him. He asks what he's got to live for her, if she doesn't love him anymore, and she says, "I loved you once. I can't recapture that if you're not here." We'd never have believed these two might still have a future together!
Robin's presence on Wisteria Lane makes the men perk up and the women jealous. Lynette says. "I have teenage boys at home. The last thing I need next door is a stripper." Katherine, who's back from her stay at the mental institution says, "She can't bring any more crazy to this street than I did."
Lynette is horrified to find out that her son, Parker, has offered Robin money to have sex with him! Parker explains that he's the only one of his friends who's still a virgin. Tom tells him it'll happen, in a few years. But he observes to Lynette, "Guys always pay for sex in some way, dinner, flowers, antique rings." She takes offense, since he just gave her a ring for their anniversary and is now expecting not only sex but an "upgrade." She explains that the reason she slept with him the first time wasn't because of the expensive dinner, but because he had brought over a lightbulb to make her apartment more safe, and we can see the lightbulb go on in Tom's head.
Robin asks Bree for help baking a cake and ends up inspiring Bree to restart her sex life with Orson, despite his being in a wheelchair. We have to laugh at Bree's strip scene -- done to Tchaikovsky! And that Orson asks if she's having a stroke when she tries to give him a lapdance! She explains that she wants to share a bed with him, even if it's just holding his hand while he falls asleep.
Since learning that the Bolens are on the run, Gabby is determined get Ana away form Danny. She arranges for an old photographer friend in New York to represent Ana, but Ana turns down the offer saying, "Danny and I have a plan, we're going to New York together when I graduate." Gabby's solution comes unexpectedly from Robin, when she tells how she passed on an offer from a ballet company because of a boy, only to lose both. Gabby convinces her to tell Ana that story and next thing we know, Ana is packing her bags and breaking up with Danny because he's not happy for her big break. Robin is upset at being used and goes to talk to Danny, who we next see heading out in a taxi.
Even Susan gets jealous when Robin turns out to have a knack for fixing Mike's sore back. Susan tries fixing his back herself, only to send Mike to the hospital! She admits to Robin that she had a hard time seeing, her "all over Mike." Robin decides it's time to move out so they can still stay friends.
Katherine's rattling around all alone in her big house, so it seems perfect when Robin moves in. The two go out for drinks to celebrate, where the men only hit on Robin. Telling them they're nuts to ignore a "classy, beautiful" woman like Katherine, Robin kisses her on the lips, saying, "I'll just keep her all to myself." Katherine laughs at her great exit, but then realizes that Robin really does like women. Katherine says she'll stick with men, but we can see she's definitely considering switching!
6:16 The Chase
When Celia comes down with chicken pox, Carlos orders Gaby, who's never had it it, out of the house so she won't get it too. She ends up staying with Bob and Lee, where she quickly grows used to their sophisticated, child-free lifestyle. When Carlos calls to say that Celia is better, Gaby lies that she's got a stomach bug so she can keep on partying. Juanita calls to tell her mom about her first soccer game and while looking for a quiet place to talk, Gaby stumbles across Bob & Lee's nursery! Bob admits they've been trying to adopt. "You may envy our life, but it's nothing compared to how we envy yours." She decides it's time to go home, with a fresh appreciation for being a mom.
Danny left a note that said he was off "camping with Eddie," but Angie realizes that's a lie when she runs into Eddie at the store. She gets him to admit that Danny's actually in New York, looking for Ana. Angie worries that Danny might end up in the "old neighborhood," and that might include him running across Patrick Logan. She and Nick head off to New York to stop that from happening.
We really wonder about Bree's record for attracting stalkers when an overzealous fan named Sam shows up and announces he wants to work for her. He talks her into hiring him, and firing the inept Tad, who Andrew hired while Bree was busy with Orson. Sam is the one to figure out that Andrew only keeps Tad on because he's sleeping with him, causing Bree to question not only Tad's status, but Andrew's as well.
"I can fire whomever I want," she tells Andrew ominously. We are genuinely creeped out when Sam makes a point of drinking from Andrew's "Greatest Son Ever" mug.
We cringe when Lynette and Tom realize they've completely forgotten about Penny's birthday. Worse, when they get her a birthday cake, it reads, " Happy Birthday, Polly," the name Lynette's picked out for the new baby. Penny is fed up and runs away. Lynette tracks her to a hotel, where she tells her the pending baby is actually a good thing. "We are poised to take control," Lynette tells her, since the girls in the Scavo household will now outnumber the boys. To celebrate in style, she and Penny spend the night and have a girls' night with hot fudge sundaes.
Susan shames Roy into proposing to Karen, then is shocked when Roy claims he now feels trapped and inclined to cheat! He wants to kiss more women before he dies, so he grabs Susan for a smooch! Susan realizes she's overstepped her boundaries and tries to tell Karen not to worry about the wedding, but Karen has news: She might have cancer! We smile when Roy rallies to Karen's side and decides to go ahead with the wedding anyway.
Katherine is having steamy dreams about Robin, although she tries to get her therapist to confirm that they must be about something else, since she was never attracted to women before. Her therapist tells her she's "too fragile" for a relationship of any kind just now and that maybe it's best if Robin moves out.
Katherine is prepared to tell Robin that, when Robin announces she's landed a new job, and pops a bottle of champagne to celebrate. She gets it all over her blouse, which she starts to take off. Katherine blurts out, "You have to leave!" then admits that she's started to develop feelings for Robin. Robin says she feels the same and the two end up in bed together.
Susan sees Robin give Katherine a good-morning kiss and realizes that the two are now more than friends. Mike can't believe Katherine's a lesbian now and his masculine ego takes another hit when Susan tells him, "You were a good transition," citing how gentle Mike is and how he likes to cuddle. The real issue is that Susan paid off his business loan with the money from the sale of the strip club. He tells her, "I grew up with a father who wasn't there. I promised I'd always provide for my family." She tells him his attitude is "so 1956," but agrees to cancel the check.
Katherine asks Bob and Lee if one night with another woman makes her gay. Lee tells her, "You can't just change your main course from meat to fish," overnight. Katherine tells Robin it was a mistake and that their one night, "Doesn't count." Robin insists that they made a connection, saying, "It counted." "Okay," agrees Katherine after Robin kisses her.
Danny finds Ana on a photo shoot. He tells her that Gaby simply wanted to break them up, not help Ana's career. Ana realizes that's why she's been getting crummy assignments and walks off the set. Danny goes to look up his grandmother, Rose, whom he's never met, and she eagerly welcomes him in.
Angie and Gaby hop a plane to New York. Gaby brags about her great modeling career, but after running into famous models who are still bitter about how she treated them, she realizes she was, as a friend finally tells her, "the queen bitch diva" of them all. She tells Ana she's got a real shot at being a model and not to ruin it the way she did. Ana decides to stay in New York, but Danny's reluctantly headed home with his mother after his grandmother tells him to leave. Unbeknownst to Danny, Angie told her mother that the dangerous Patrick Logan is Danny's real father and that they'll never be safe from him.
Angie tells Gaby the truth about her past, but Gaby neglects to mention how she told a neighbor who Angie is Rose's daughter and that she now lives in Fairview!
Preston returns from Europe with a big surprise: A hot Russian fiancee! Lynnette is convinced she's just a gold-digger, so when Preston wants to give Irena his grandmother's ring, Lynette buys a cheap substitute. She figures that once Irena has it appraised, she'll take off. But Irena is just as smart and devious and hands back the ring she clearly knows is fake, claiming she can't accept a priceless family heirloom. Instead, she'll have Preston buy her a different ring.
Andrew is incensed when Bree promotes Sam to vice president of her company and drunkenly assaults him. Bree takes some muffins to Sam's house as an apology. He's not home, but the door is open. She's shocked to see photos of Sam with her first husband, Rex! Sam confesses that Rex is his father, the product of a one-night stand before Rex even met Bree. Bree wants nothing more to do with him, but finally relents as Sam explains that he used to drive by the Van de Kamp house to find out why Rex preferred them to his own family. "You were perfect," he says, adding that since his mother died six months ago, he decided to meet Bree. Andrew looks on jealously as Bree hugs Sam.
6:18
After Lynette catches Preston and Irena having sex in the house, she asks them not to let it happen again. Preston's solution: He and Irena are getting their own apartment. Tom expects Lynette to object, but she remembers how miserable their tiny first apartment made them. But her plan backfires when they get a three-bedroom apartment, which means that Preston is giving up on college and getting a job at a meat packing plant!
Lynette loses it and calls Irena a "self-serving piece of eurotrash who would sell her own mother for a pair of designer jeans!" We have to admit she deserves it when Irena throws her homemade borscht on her. Irena wise realizes she can't win the battle as long as she's just Preston's girlfriend, so she pressures him to move up the wedding to next week! Lynette now has no choice but to be nice to her.
Katherine is happily sleeping with Robin -- she just doesn't want anyone to know about it! But the secret comes out at a neighborhood party when everyone overhears Katherine tell Robin, "Just because i enjoy having sex with you doesn't mean I am a lesbian!" Katherine tells Robin she cares too much about what people think and packs Robin's bags for her. We feel terrible for Robin --- until Katherine says she wants to go with her! Awwww!
Susan and Gaby get into an all-out war when both desperately want their kid to win the school's candy-selling contest. Susan wants MJ, who never wins anything, to win to boost his self-esteem and Gaby wants Juanita, who has no friends, to get the party that goes to the winner. Both women engage in underhanded tactics, until Juanita confides to Susan that she just wants her mother to be proud of her. Susan takes MJ aside and tells him there's another way to be a winner, by letting Juanita win the contest.
Bree tells Danielle about Sam, so she returns for a tense dinner to meet her newly discovered half-brother. Andrew is nauseated to hear of Sam's many accomplishments including working with the poor and taking care of his sick mother. When Bree learns that Sam can also play the guitar, she brings out Rex's old guitar from the closet. Andrew objects, saying, "You're giving out my dad's stuff to a total stranger and I'm being unreasonable?" He suggests they split the guitar and then smashes it against the wall! "Yeah, I know he's the perfect son," Andrew observes after Bree chews him out and praises Sam's behavior. "Problem is, he's not yours."
Orson is also disturbed at how attached Bree is to Sam and asks Andrew, "What do we really know about him? He seems to be too good to be true, huh?" Andrew realizes all they know about Sam is what he's told them and vows to find out "everything I can."
Nick wants to tell Danny that he's not his biological father, but Angie assures him, "You're the only father he needs to know."
We finally meet Patrick Logan, who comes to pay off the neighbor who tipped him off about Angie's whereabouts. "She took something from me," he says. "I'm going to take it back." He lives up to his violent reputation when he kills the woman after she asks him not to hurt Angie! We're definitely worried when we see Patrick Logan on Wisteria Lane, watching Danny, unseen.
6:19
We're troubled to see someone clipping a newspaper article about a missing teenage girl and pasting it into a scrapbook -- right next to the article about Julie's attack.
Mike's truck is repossessed because he's behind on payments. "Enough with the macho pride," Susan tells him, but he won't take any money from her. Susan comes up with a scheme: She pays her friends to clog up their plumbing. Mike catches on, especially when he finds Susan's earring in Gaby's drain. He insists he doesn't want her help. "If you can't let me help you, maybe there's something wrong with our marriage," Susan says. Mike confesses his real money woes -- he's totally broke! It's not Susan he tells, but Carlos, who asks him, "How much do you need?"
Andrew's been digging into Sam's past, including his supposed MBA. "Turns out Golden Child here never got his degree," he tells Sam in front of Bree. Sam explains that he's a "few classes short" because he left school to care for his dying mother. Sam then shows Bree that Andrew charged some items to clients, then used them for himself. Andrew tells Bree that Sam's manipulating her, so she fires Andrew. Sam is alarmed to hear that she plans to eventually take Andrew back in, so when the food is sabotaged at an important dinner we suspect him, not Andrew. Bree believes Sam, but Orson points out that this kind of smart, subtle sabotage is more Sam's style.
Patrick Logan shows up at the coffee shop where Danny works and strikes up a conversation. He tells him he's writing a book. "It started out as a love story but now it's getting kind of dark." He asks Danny for advice on what to do next with the story, which is about a woman who vanished with the main character's son. "Seems to me like the guy would kill her," Danny suggests. "That was my first instinct too." He goes back to the cafe to tell Danny that that was "too easy" and instead, he's going to have his main character take the son.
Gaby overhears Bob and Lee fighting -- their egg donor backed out. Gaby has a suggestion: "Why not take mine?" Carlos tells her he doesn't want her "handing out your eggs like party favors to every childless gay couple that wanders by." Gaby won't listen to him, until Bob and Lee make it clear they don't want her to have an active part in raising the child. Gaby has Carlos tell Bob and Lee that the arrangement is off. When she goes to see how they're taking the news, she's shocked to hear that Lee has left Bob.
Lynette takes Irina gown shopping and the Russian saleswoman translates a call Irina takes from an angry man: "Go ahead and call the police, you'll never find me." Lynette tells Tom, "That woman is hiding something and I am taking her down." Lynette learns that Irina's already married! And that she has a record of cleaning out guys' bank accounts. Irina tells her, "Give Preston your file. I will explain it all away. He will believe me, he always does." But Preston's overheard the whole thing and calls off the wedding.
Preston's geeky friend Eddie gives Irina a ride to the airport. And we realize he's the guy who attacked Julie when he offers to let Irina stay at his place. She tells him, "I'm a little out of your league," and he pulls off the road. We hear screams from the parked car and then Eddie digging a grave!
6:20
We meet Eddie's mom Barbara, a mean, slovenly drunk. She raids his room, looking for a bottle of Scotch, but instead finds his scrapbook with the clippings about the Fairview murders.
We flashback to when Eddie was just four, and his father left his mother -- after loudly proclaiming that he'd never wanted any of this, including Eddie. Mary Alice tries to befriend her, but Barbara isn't interested. Mary Alice stops by one day to give Eddie a teddy bear and finds him home alone while his mom is out drinking. She lectures Barbara about not putting her needs ahead of her son, but the lesson clearly doesn't take.
Gaby first meets Eddie when she moves to Wisteria Lane and finds a lonely Eddie inside her empty house -- he'd been sneaking in to play there since the previous owners moved out. He ends up coming over every day because Barbara has a new boyfriend. When he surprises Carlos and Gaby in the tub, Carlos orders Gaby to "cut him loose" and start making friends with other women, not nine-year-old boys. Gaby wants to go talk to Barbara, but Carlos advises her, "We don't want to be known as the nosy neighbors." After Gaby tells him they can't be friends anymore, Eddie grabs a BB gun and shoots a bird.
We next see teenage Eddie doing chores for Bree. He tells her "girls never notice me" and she gives him dating advice. She even gives him extra money to buy gifts for the girl he likes. Bree goes to talk to Barbara when Eddie's object of affection ends up being Danielle! She returns the necklace Eddie left for Danielle and asks Barbara to "let Eddie down easy." Instead, Barbara tells him that he needs to stop "stalking" Danielle. Worse, she goes on to say, "The only girl I ever thought he'd end up with would be blind, deaf or inflatable." Bree tells him Danielle and he can still be friends. Our heart breaks for Eddie when he tells Bree, "I don't want a friend. I want somebody to love me." Next, we see Eddie with a hooker. When she laughs at the flowers he's brought her, he kills her.
Susan meets Eddie at the coffee shop just after Mike starts dating Katherine. She praises Eddie's drawing and even pays for him to take art classes. So Eddie is crushed to hear that she and Mike are back together -- and getting married! "Don't marry Mike. You could marry me," he offers. Not realizing he's serious she thanks him for the "good laugh." Eddie tears up the drawings he made of her. That night, we see Eddie prowling outside her house and when he sees a woman come out, he attacks her, only then seeing that it's Julie, not Susan. He runs off, but then brings flowers to her hospital bedside. "What kind of monster would do this?" Susan asks. "It wasn't a monster," Eddie says. "This was done by some piece of garbage that doesn't even deserve to be on this earth."
Eddie is playing charades with the Scavos when his mother comes over, demanding to know where he hid her booze. "I don't think you should talk to your son like that," she tells Barbara. Lynette tells Tom, "We know something bad is happening, but we do nothing. I'm tired of being one of the people who does nothing," she says. Tom suggests Eddie's old enough to strike out on his own, but Lynette thinks he's "too damaged."
Meanwhile, Barbara is confronting Eddie about his scrapbook. "Did you have anything to do with hurting those girls?" He nods and she sobs, "I didn't raise you to be like this." "Didn't you?" he asks. "The worst mistake I ever made in my life was having you," she spits out and he hits her with a bottle, then chokes her to death. Just then, Lynette shows up to ask him to move in with them. "You've got to get out of here, Eddie," she tells him. "This isn't a healthy situation." She sees his mother on the floor and assumes she's just passed-out! Eddie accepts Lynette's invitation, then disposes of his mother's body.
6:21
This week, we realize there are not one, but three dangerous psychopaths on Wisteria Lane!
We find out Nick was the undercover agent on Angie's tail. Rather than turn her in, her convinced her to go into hiding with him and raise Danny as his own. Patrick learns from Danny (who has no idea who Patrick really is) that Nick likes to go jogging, so that night, Patrick runs Nick down with his car! Nick is sure that it was Patrick and urges Angie to take Danny and flee for safety. Danny isn't convinced, but he agrees to hide.
The doctors want to put Nick into an induced coma, so he asks her to join Danny at their safe house. Too late! She goes home to find Patrick waiting for her! Patrick tells her, "You are going to do me a favor. Just do what I want, baby," he says. "And I'll let you [and Nick] both live."
Gaby wants Carlos to buy her a chalet, but he tells her that "all our money is tied up in a business deal." She grills their business manager, who spills the beans about the loan to Mike. Gaby stops by, thinking Susan is in dire need, and is shocked when Susan shows off their new piano. It's inherited, but Susan wants the chance to gloat about her big "splurge," which is thanks to Mike's "big cash infusion." Gaby tells her the truth: "Carlos loaned Mike the 50 grand." Susan can't believe Mike would rather borrow money from Carlos than take any from her, so the women scheme to have the men fess up. Gaby leads Mike to believe that Carlos and Susan are having an affair, while Carlos gets madder and madder to learn of Mike's extravagant purchases. The men finally admit the truth and Susan makes Mike promise to never "freeze me out like this" again. He reluctantly hands over his financial paperwork.
Eddie arrives at the Scavos with groceries in hand. Lynette is impressed, until Eddie attacks Porter for calling his mother a "bitch!" Eddie explains he can't stand to see Lynette disrespected. "What happened today can never happen again," she tells Eddie. "I grew up with an alcoholic mother. I know what it feels like to be angry all the time." Tom is incensed to hear about the attack, but Lynette defends the boy: "Eddie comes from an abusive home, we have to expect that he has some baggage." Tom agrees to pay for Eddie to see a therapist, who is definitely understating when he tells Lynette that Eddie has a lot of issues. He's not optimistic about progress, unless they get Eddie's mother, Barbara, involved. But when Lynette goes to see her, a neighbor tells her, "No one's seen her for days."
Bree begins to wonder about Sam when she sees him arguing with a woman who works at the grocery store. Bree stops by the store to question the woman and we're shocked -- but not too surprised, really -- to find out that she's Sam's mother! "Are you aware that Sam goes around telling people that you're dead," Bree asks.
The woman mentions a letter Rex sent when Sam was four, offering Sam a better life and asking for full-time custody. Sam found the letter a few months ago. "When he realized he could have lived all those years with his dad in a fancy house, he was beyond livid." Bree tells Sam she's met his mother and he loses it. "If she had loved me, she would have let me live the life that I was entitled to," he shouts as he throws a vase across the room. Bree apologizes to Andrew: "You were right from the start, I never should have trusted him." Bree confesses it won't be that easy to cut Sam out of their life: "I'm afraid of him."
6:22
Lynette comes to a shocking realization about Eddie (guest star Josh Zuckerman), and Susan and Mike's financial woes result in the ultimate sacrifice. In the meantime, Bree offers Sam (guest star Sam Page) a generous payoff to walk away, and Angie relies on Gabrielle for help when Patrick (guest star John Barrowman) threatens the life of her son.
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